Fireworks!!!

For the past few days, I was expectant and excited for my birthday. Having blues and senti moments too. I think that’s normal, most of the people I know feel the same on their birthdays.

We had a two-day leadership retreat at San Felipe, Zambales last April 9 -10, 2009. At first I was not excited, I even told one of my friends about it. I get disappointed and somewhat frustrated when I hear the others planning for bonding and teambuilding activities. There’s nothing wrong with that, aren’t we supposed to do that? But I was hoping to hear plans on how the leaders will be more passionate and committed and on fire for the service. I was hoping that it will be a more moving encounter than regular retreats since it is a leadership activity. Being "candid" as I am, I talked to the leader of the singles about it. As usual, we had a heated discussion but as always, we both agreed to disagree.

Plans, schedules and topics have been laid down. All was set. On the way to the venue, I get a little excited. Days before, I cried out to God because I was overwhelmed with what’s going to happen. There are times that I would ask God what can I do for Him. But birthdays are different, it’s my day, my special day. I guess it’s ok to ask God for a surprise and be selfish for one day. Haha! During the activity planning, it was decided that all the leaders will share the gospel on the 2nd day, my special day. I was overwhelmed. I was astonished. I was amazed. All the while I think of myself and my birthday. But God has other plans. April 10, 2009 is a good Friday – a time when most of the people are commemorating the death of Jesus. I was in awe when I realized that God has given me the greatest gift, that is to share His love, His salvation, His Son to others. This is His ultimate gift to me – to use me in sharing the good news.

The sharing was extremely amazing. All of us has our own stories to tell. We were in pairs in spreading the good news in San Felipe. There were funny tales, frustrating stories, exciting and hyper talks, heartfelt lines, touching words – but above all, each one of us experienced the joy of sharing Jesus. Almost half of the group had their first time to tell the gospel to others, to people we hardly know.

My partner is not a first-timer. Nevertheless, we rehearsed and planned on how we will be delivering the gospel. There were three people God sent us to share the gospel with, first with a man and another batch with two married women. I was blessed with my partner as he started the conversation in a relaxed mood. Later on I found myself doing most of the talking (what’s new? Haha!). And he just let me do the job. At the end, he added points and challenges to the people we shared the good news with. These three souls were not new to the gospel, but God humbled their hearts to pray and recommit their lives and accepted Jesus in their hearts.

I should be overjoyed with the result of the retreat… But deep in my heart there was not enough joy, I felt something is still missing, lacking. I was at times by myself, quiet, silent, not the usual happy lady. One of my closest friend noticed it and she admitted that at one instance she got disappointed with me, with my actions, with my words, with how I relate to her, to others. Last Saturday, God reviewed to me the lesson on how to be satisfied with Him. I do my responsibility as a Christian – having my quiet time, reading the bible, attending worship services – you name it, I am doing it. But I still feel discontented, unsatisfied. Why? I asked God what’s wrong with me. As I studied the day 3 lesson from week two of Breaking Free, God answered my question. He created me to have discontentment and dissatisfaction in all areas of my life, including my spiritual walk. Why? So that I will seek Him and know Him more and more, that I will thirst and hunger for more of Him, that I will not be satisfied and contented with only a few things about Him. Yes, I am doing my responsibility but is my heart yearning, longint to have more of Jesus? That hit me to the core. I stopped growing in love with my Savior.

When I reached home that Friday, my mother cooked pancit for me. I was thankful for my family that we celebrated my special day eventhough I spent only a little time with them that day. After less than one hour, I saw familiar faces in our home. I was with these singlemen and women for two days… I knew it! My friends planned something for me. They blindfolded me while they prepare their surprise. At one time, I even annoyed them because I was the type who doesn’t get surprised easily. I spoiled their plan a bit. (Sorry guys, I was expectant you know? Hehehe). When they took off the blindfold, there were… FIREWORKS!!! It was so beautiful. As the fireworks painted the sky with colors, lights and sounds, my friends started to sing the most joyful happy birthday song… Perfect! Everytime I see fireworks, it reminds me of God. The happy, colorful lights are smiles and nods and assurances from my Father. I “seized the moment” and enjoyed watching the fireworks and listening to the song. My head up high, thinking about God, savoring that special time. My dgroup even made a card with sort-of caricature of me. Thank you sis for the surprise, you really got me there. I love you all. (Naku, mausok yata dito. Hehehe)

I know it was my Daddy God who planned for everything. The loud rejoicing in heaven and the fireworks on earth… amazing! I asked forgiveness from my Father, for feeling empty, unsatisfied, selfish, for not being a good example at times. I accepted His mercy, His grace, His forgiveness. It’s so nice to be back again, to be happy, to seek more of God, to love my Father evenmore, to be joyful as the fireworks...

25 Random Things

This is the last among the 3 tags my bestfriend got me into. I won't be tagging my other friends but if any of you want to do this, you are free to do so.

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. The greatest thing that ever happened to me was when I accepted Jesus in my life and started a personal relationship with Him.
2. I keep simple things in my heart that only God knows. Things that I cannot share to my family nor to my closest friends. It may be pain or victory or hurt or joy. Simple things that me and my God share.
3. I love listening to people from all walks of life, from the younger generation to matured ones. I am fascinated hearing their stories and looking at their eyes as they glitter with pride and joy when they share their life.
4. When I’m in the bathroom, I hate it when someone knocks and tells me to hurry up.
5. I can sleep very late in the evening, but I hate waking up at 4am or earlier. I’m not an early riser.
6. I need to have a rest day in a week. If not, I can easily get sick the next week.
7. My bestfriend and I have so many things in common- fashion, humor, hobbies, height (hehehe), food – you name it, we both like it (more or less). She calls us as “twinnies”.
8. I love sashimi! My most fave is pink salmon sashimi. I miss Saisaki…
9. I wanted to have a boy bestfriend, but he didn’t come…yet. I think I will meet him this year (wide smile).
10. I used to believe that Mapua is a school acronym. It’s actually a surname. By the way, miss my college days… (senti mode).
11. When I was a kid, I wanted to become a doctor but my cousin, who was a med student then and a licensed doctor now, discouraged me saying it is too difficult. I ended up as an engineer… no regrets though.
12. As of this writing, I am employed in the same office. . . more than eleven years. Whew!
13. I cry my heart out at movies. Legends of the Fall, Braveheart and Passion of the Christ – to name a few.
14. The most extreme adventures I’ve tried: space shuttle and anchor’s away rides of Enchanted Kingdom, rolling disc of Everland, Korea. For me, those are extremes. LOL
15. My very first diary was given by my Ate on 1991. I still keep it together with 5 more. I love writing journals and it gives unexplainable mixed feeling when I read the past stories I had.
16. Besides journals, I also keep letters/cards/notes/gift tags from loved ones and friends. These are my treasures.
17. I enjoyed my childhood very much. I played all sort of Pinoy games and made a lot of funny stuff with friends and family. From taguan to moro-moro, barilan to football, paper doll making to tinda-tindahanan, Chinese garter to luksong tinik, and many more…
18. The most embarrassing experience I ever had is still a secret. LOL
19. My first heartbreak was after I graduated from college. I was not allowed to have a boyfriend when I was still studying but at the time that I’m ready to entertain my long-time friend, he’s got a girl. I cried…
20. I don’t smoke. I don’t drink. I don’t gamble. Boring to some but good for me.
21. I have a Saturday tattoo – my singles dgroup. My weekend is not complete when we don’t have meetings.
22. I cannot remember the total number of my inaanak. I stopped counting two years ago, the total then was 30.
23. My family is not perfect but if given a chance to choose for another one, it will still be them. We are not showy but we extend the love and respect in other ways. For my four siblings that got married, I cried for each. I don’t know why it saddened me to see them sharing their life to another.
24. One day, I will walk the aisle to marry the best man God prepared for me.
25. I believe in one God. I believe in life after death. I believe in heaven and hell. I believe that it is only by faith in Jesus than one can be saved. Acknowledging Him as the Savior and making Him as Lord is the greatest decision a man can do.

I never thought writing 25 random things can be this fun (and hard). I made it bes, though it took me a while to start it. :)

Just a Name Game

Tagged by no other than my bes, Pamela. :)

It's not that hard. Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag 5 people.

Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real...nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

1. What is your name : Marie

2. A four Letter Word : Move

3. A boy's Name : Michael

4. A girl's Name : Mariel

5. An occupation : Manager

6. A color : Maroon

7. Something you'll wear : Make-up

9. A food : Maki

10. Something found in the bathroom: Mirror

11. A place : Mexico

12. A reason for being late : Morning sickness

13. Something you'd shout : Move on!

14. A movie title : Moulin Rouge

15. Something you drink : Mountain Dew

16. A musical group: Mercy Me

17. An animal : Mammoth

18. A street name : Main Street

19. A type of car : Mercedes

20. The title of a song : My Girl

And I tag Anna, Ade, Clarisse, Monet, April.

Bucket List

My bestfriend just updated her blog and guess what? She tagged me on all her new blog entries! (That's what bestfriends are for! ). This is the easiest among the 3 and here it goes...

Place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not, then send it to your friends (including me).

Things you have done during your lifetime (I wish to do more, hehehe):

(x) Gone on a blind date
( ) Skipped school gym class
(x) Watched someone die
(x) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
( ) Been to Florida
( ) Been to Hawaii
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a helicopter
(x) Been lost
( ) Gone to Washington, DC
( ) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers
( ) Recently colored with crayons
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) Made prank phone calls
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere
( ) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone
(x) Blown bubbles
( ) Gone ice-skating
(x) Gone to the movies
( ) Been deep sea fishing
( ) Driven across the United States
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
( ) Gone snowmobiling
( ) Lived in more than one country
( ) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
( ) Seen a falling star and made a wish
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
( ) Seen the Statue of Liberty
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
( ) Been on a cruise
(x) Traveled by train
( ) Traveled by motorcycle
(x) Been horse back riding
( ) Ridden on a San Francisco Cable Car
(x) Been to Disneyland
( ) Been in a rain forest
( ) Seen whales in the ocean
(x) Been to Niagara Falls
( ) Ridden on an elephant
( ) Swam with dolphins
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
( ) Been spinnaker flying
( ) Been water-skiing
( ) Been snow-skiing
( ) Been to Westminster Abbey
( ) Been to the Louvre
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean
( ) Been to a Major League Baseball game
( ) Been to a National Football League game
( ) Been to a Hockey game
( ) Been to an NBA game

I tag Ade, Clarisse and Monet.

The Lord of the Rings

Who wouldn’t like this movie??!! Well, I do . . . or I used to. I am not a fan of movies with dim background or killings or death. I just don’t like to be affected with the sadness or fear of darkness.

I’ve seen the Fellowship of the Ring years ago and honestly, I can’t remember exactly what happened on that episode. I told myself not to watch any sequels of that film. Indeed, I have kept my word.

Until this month my officemate said he has all the three episodes. At first, I was not interested but for lack of time going to movie houses lately, I decided to borrow the said copies. By the way, his DVDs are the uncut versions, so each episode runs for more than 3 long hours! Inspite of, I brought home the copies.

For the first episode, I was refreshed of the scenes and the stories that were erased from my memory since I first watched it. How the fellowship was established, how each character was presented, how the mission was set. Legolas, the great Elf archer, caught my attention. He is cute. Hahaha.

And so that’s it, not bad for the first part. The second episode is entitled The Two Towers. More and more characters were introduced, more and more kingdoms and places were named, and the plot became more complicated. Gandalf the Grey became Gandalf the White wizard. The plot is making me excited. Legolas is still cute. Hahaha. (Just for curiosity’s sake, his name is Orlando Bloom, been in different blockbuster movies.)

Last night, my mind was battling with its own if I will finish the third episode. And of course, I did watch the last copy. And this time, I noticed another character. He is the brother of Boromir, the only member of the fellowship who died. Faramir is handsome. Hahaha. I slept at past 1am! I had a good sleep though.

This movie has tons of lessons. I admire the loyalty and faith of Sam to Frodo. His heart is very pure. It was not tainted, not even once, by the greediness of the Ring. He remained true and authentic to his friend. He gave all he can give just to help his friend complete the mission even if Frodo, at one point, disregarded their friendship. Sam kept the covenant, he wouldn’t let go of Frodo. This commitment made me pause and reflect on my covenant with God. Believe or not, I cried. I remembered the times I’ve been like Frodo, willfully neglected my covenant with God. I pray that I will stick with my commitment.

Another lesson that made a great impact to me is about hope. The Eye can see everything, in fact it can even tell what the future will be. But just as the rest, it also has weakness, it also cannot control all. Aragorn hold on to what hope is all about. Even if he knows it’s the end and even if they fight, they will be overtaken, he still fought and hold on to his hope. He was made King, the last episode, The Return of the King. My lesson? When all seems questionable, when everything is not going well, when people are neglecting God, when others do not believe in Jesus, there is hope. God is the hope. He is omniscient, He is omnipotent, He is omnipresent. And He is the King of kings and the Lord of lords.

One last thing that I realized, I am not the main character. Until the last episode, I am for Legolas. He is not the leader, he is just a secondary character. Refined, loyal and obedient to his leader and not to mention that he is a good friend to Gimli (the Dwarf) too. The same goes for me, in this life, I am not the lead character, I am the follower of my Leader who is the King. My life on earth is all about Jesus. And I pray that I would be faithful to my word until eternity…