Hard-hearted

Strong on the outside but crushing down in the inside. How much more can you bear? How much pain can you still handle? You were made to be strong, fragile but brave.

The Challenge

It all started with the challenge given from the series we held at our church for singles and college students. The series was superb (thanks to Pastor Andy Stanley), every message has its own kick to anyone who would seriously listen and learn from it. Then there is this challenge that I was so afraid to take. I am afraid because I know myself. I know that I made a lot of promises but most of them remain a promise unfulfilled. I am also afraid of what this challenge might change me into – something that I never thought I would like to be.

After all the reasoning and defenses, I finally said YES to it. I challenged myself not to engage into any date with the opposite sex, not to entertain any conversation that might lead to emotional attachment with men, not to even think of having a partner (a boyfriend or a husband). Seems like a risky challenge huh? You bet, I’m not even sure if I really made it clear with myself what I got into. He he he. We had this “extreme” measure system so that we can be protected from impurity or immorality. One of the extreme measures I decided to do is not to have any man (except for family members) to ride at the passenger seat of my car.

One time I had a seminar in Manila with one of my male colleagues. I have to bring my car and so it will just be the two of us riding together. Then I remember the challenge. So I asked for help from another male friend. He was kind enough to accompany me so there will be no exclusivity between me and my officemate. One point for me there.
I did an audit in our other office and needed to bring again my car. Another male colleague asked me if he can hitch back to our main office. At first, I got startled that he might seat beside me in the car. But then God told me to have him sit at the back, which he actually did. Two points!

At another time, we had a global conference call that ended at past 9:00pm. Another male colleague had asked me beforehand to hitch in my car on going home. I already knew then what to do, he will sit at the back. When the meeting was over, this colleague said that he will wait for a public transport and should I come out of the plant and him still waiting at the gate, he will ride with me. Thank God, just before I leave he texted me saying that he was already on his way home in public commute. Not a point for me there, but moreso for God.

I am nearing the third month of this challenge; it is still early to tell what positive impact this has on me. But yesterday I had a very thrilling day. I have a secret crush with an officemate. I like him because of his intellect, not my usual white-complexion type though. He is from a different department and our work is not much related. It means that our encounter is very, very minimal. Thankfully we have extra curricular activities at the office! That was a little chance for me to work with him. And so yesterday was the closest to the encounter. He went to my office to ask about a project and after our short conversation, he asked for my number! Yeah I know it was nothing personal, but I really got thrilled on the thought that “my crush asked for my number”. Hi hi hi. I don’t even know if he will ever use my number – text or call, but nonetheless, I was really thrilled.
So how about that challenge? That encounter yesterday was more on the fun side. No strings attached, no emotional whatsoever, just pure and clean business matter. I really got thrilled though. Ha ha ha.

I thank God for this challenge. I know I will learn something from it that will draw me closer to Him. It is still a long way to go, but I know I am not alone in this. God is with me, together we will finish the challenge successfully.

My Discovery for 2011

After I surrendered my life to Jesus, it was my immediate family’s salvation that I prayed for intensely. I wanted for them to have the same joy I am experiencing – a personal relationship with God.


On my journey, I also remembered my relatives. I was even trying to understand how can they be saved too since we have this big family. Who would share the good news with them? Will they accept Jesus? How can I invite them to church? I have so many questions.

In 2011 I learned some things about our family. From my mother’s side, there is at least one Christian now in each family. It may be a youth, a father, a family, and God has showed me that there are only two of mom’s siblings that have no “Christian” yet in their family. I was able to chat with my cousin one day and was so grateful to know that he is a Christian now. What I felt for my immediate family is his feelings right now. I know what God is doing in my own loved ones; He can surely do the same for my cousin’s.


It is so comforting to know that eventhough I prayed for that many years ago, God answers are still coming.

Lord, thank You that when You saved me, You did not stop with only me. Thank You for doing Your way for the rest of my family. I pray that in my lifetime I will see your goodness for all my loved ones.

I can't wait to more discoveries of You!

You Were There

The rain has stopped.
The storm has passed.
Look at all the colors, now the sun is here at last.
Father God, thank You for being there.

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure. - 1 Corinthians 10:13

In the Midst of the Storm

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Philippians 4:8)

With the recent calamity we had experienced, it is so tempting to dwell on what was lost…

God has been and always will be our Protector, Provider and Refuge.

When typhoon Pedring came, I was able to go home early that day. God protected me from darkness and debris along the road.

The water started to rise. Nanay just bought our groceries for the week. We have enough food.

It took longer than I expected for the electricity to power up. I was able to charge my phones before the flood.

Days were passing, water level is getting higher. Still without electricity and the water supply has been cut off as well. Ate applied for purified water dealership, we have enough water supply.

Water reached the 2nd floor of our house! This was the first time we experienced such great flood. We still have our 3rd floor and rooftop to keep dry.

Our cars were parked on high grounds but the water level is higher. The owner of the lot where the cars were parked is an automotive mechanic. He sends us messages from time to time. Kuya was able to take out the computer box from Wyt and tied the two vehicles as well.

In God’s divine ways, I had an Elijah-experience. Everyday I asked God to stop the water from rising. It didn’t. I asked God to have the power back. It didn’t. I asked God for better sleeps. It didn’t. I kept praying until one day, the water level started to go down. All I uttered was “praise God!”

My spiritual family was all worried about us that they didn’t stop until they were able to send rescuers to our home. I, together with five family members and relatives, left our house. As we were going to dry land, I saw how great that flood was! I was safe at home, spending time with my family, praying for the water to subside – all this time, God has been keeping us in the eye of the storm. An unimaginable flood has come to our town. There were empty houses. There were people trying to survive. Calamity is everywhere. Yet God kept our eyes away from the awful situation.

It saddened me to be away from my family but more rejoicing when I get involved with the relief operation. Being “out of water” makes me see a clearer view of what God is trying to do. Need is everywhere and many people (most of them I do not know of) are all together helping out.

This flood maybe awful but has God promised that all things work together for the good of those who love Him.

If anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things and you'll see that you are in the safest place...in the eye of the storm with God alone.