Monday Blues

We all experience these Monday blues especially when we came from a great weekend – spent most of the time in bed, watched those tv programs without getting bored, ate enough but good food. And so when Monday comes, you feel lazy to go to work and start the week again.

But this Monday is a different one for me. I was actually looking forward for today! Why? It’s because last week I found out that I have so many to do’s. Haha! So I was excited to start my list and would you believe I woke up before 6am today! (For those who truly know me, 6am is an early wake up time for me). I reached the office at 8am (again, 8am is truly early. I usually arrive at the office 15-30 minutes past 8. Hehe).

Before doing anything, I opened my laptop so that while I do my pre-work stuff (going to powder room, clean my desk, take out my phones, etc.) my weekend emails can be downloaded in my inbox. And guess what? After 1.5hours of waiting, my email is not moving! So I checked my to do’s and started with one that I haven’t completed the week before. Same thing, after more than an hour, it is still running (I am running a calibration update using a mathematical software). I get frustrated because my high hopes for today were faced by the slowness of our server connection…

This is the Monday sickness in our IT system. You will hear from almost everyone a grumble or complaint about the connection speed. The funny thing is we regularly experience this but we still grumble!

For the twist of my Monday story, early today a colleague sent me a very energetic morning greeting through our internal office chat. She doesn’t usually greet me in the mornings so I get excited when I received that message from her. Inspite of the usual Monday blues (and sickness too), she was able to influence a sense of hope again to me. Thanks pal!

I smell the aroma of coffee, almost time for our morning break. I’d better grab a cup of hot coffee while I’m waiting.

Careful

“Sssscrreeecchhhhh!!!” That ‘s the only sound I heard as I stepped hard on my breaks and breathtakingly hoped that I could stop before it’s too late.

The road was clear, it was about 10:15 in the evening yesterday on my way home after our dgroup. I was driving silently and noticed a motorcycle a few meters ahead from my right side. On my left were policemen who stand by at that familiar site as they attend to their usual duty of randomly checking and inspecting the vehicles. The motorcycle in front of me suddenly slowed down, I was on my normal speed until I noticed a signboard in the middle of the road! My initial reflex was to turn right so as not to hit the signage but all of a sudden the motorcycle (now in front of me!!!) was turning left without any signal!!! I stepped as hard as I can on my breaks. ”SScccrreeeeccchhh!!!” My tires stopped before my car hit the motorcycle.

The Sunday incident is still very fresh. On our way home from church, we had an accident. I was the one driving. I was moving on the other side of the road because my mother needs to buy something for tatay. Slowly I pulled over to the left side, with my signal on, when all of a sudden we heard a loud “crraaaassshhh!!!” half-way my turn. I looked at my side mirror and saw a motorcycle at our back. I didn’t know if I will go out from the car (probably I was praying that we can go home immediately and this is not happening). My brother approached the driver of that motorcycle who had bruises on his arms and leg, and a deep violet mark on his face. He has no helmet and the front of his motor was severely damaged. A few minutes later, I stepped out of the car and went to the man. I asked him, “Ano po ba?” (Ano po ba nangyari? Ano po ba gagawin natin? These were actually the questions in my mind). The man said, “Ok na yung sasakyan, tulungan mo na lang akong magpagamot.” I haven’t given him a direct answer, I just said that we’ll call the police so the incident can be investigated.

In both incidents, naramdaman ko ang nginig sa katawan ko. I don’t know what to do, whom to call, how to get out of it. Last night, I cried, I forced myself to let out the tears because deep inside I was very, very scared. Kinakausap ko si God, “Bakit naman ganun? Bakit ang bilis naman ng repeat? Sunday and then Tuesday?" I needed to say that, I have to let it out.

And in both incidents, I experienced how real God is, how faithful He is with His words, how He protects His children. Sunday accident didn’t cause any harm to my family, all was safe. With me were my two 6-year old and 1 year old nephews, my 8th month pregnant sister in law, my 72-year old mom, my teenager niece, my eldest sister and brother. A little bent damaged my father’s car, but I consider it very minimal. Last night’s was God’s hand in action. I drove home as if nothing happened. My prayer for safety is even intensified and I could say I am more careful now with my driving. I told God to help me focus on His character and His grace because there were negative things that are running through my mind. I remember the testimony from that Sunday preaching, I told God that I want the same peace, the peace that transcends all understanding. I had a good night sleep for I know God granted my prayer.

I remember that I prayed to have an encounter with God because I can feel that my spirit is getting weak. If only we can choose the encounters we could have just to make our spirit alive and passionate again. Now I get the point, be careful with what you’re asking for. Hahaha.

I don’t like motorcycles, just by seeing them, I can feel the risks and dangers along the road. But whenever I see a motorcycle, it also reminds of someone. And because of the two incidents… is God trying to humor me? LOL

I Miss "Home"

All I want is to be back, to where I was weeks or months before. Words cannot explain how I feel lately, I don’t know how far I’ve been to. All I know is that I miss “home”.

“Home” is a place where you are most comfortable with. According to Wikipedia, a home is a place of comfort and refuge. I miss my place of refuge, the place where I am safe and secured.

How and when was my “going away from home” started? It was when I decided to be on my own and be far from the truth. It was so subtle. It was not a complete fun. It was a dangerous adventure. I knew all these but have put them only at the back of my mind. I was disappointed with myself, I thought I was strong. I continued my journey to the other side of the road, deliberately neglecting the signs and warnings along the way. I made some U-turns, but those are not enough to bring me back “home”.

Until I came to the point where I needed to stop. I have to rest and recharge for my journey. It was at this time that I turned back and saw how far I was from "home". I looked to where I am going and saw nothing. I was tired. I was hopeless. I was drained. I wanted to explode. I wished that this is just a dream and nothing is real. But the more I wanted to escape, the more I see that all is true.

I need to make a decision, a tough and firm decision. Twice, I was saved from a head-on collision (deep compromise) by Someone who never left me nor forsaken me. He was there all the time, waiting for me every morning to turn to Him and let Him take the wheel. He could have said boldly every single mistake I did right in front of my face, but He didn’t. Never have I heard any condemnation from Him. Never have I felt Him getting impatient of me. Never have I heard Him blaming me. All I see is His love, His concern and His grace towards me. I looked at Him, gave Him the wheel and surrendered my cause. He held my hand and together we go back “home”. Thank You, my Daddy God.

(The Warrior is a Child by Twila Paris)

Lately I've been winning battles left and right

But even winners can get wounded in the fight

People say that I'm amazing, strong beyond my years

But they don't see inside of me, I'm hiding all the tears.

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down

They don't know who picks me up when no one is around

I drop my sword and cry for just a while

Deep inside this armour - the warrior is a child.

Unafraid because His armour is the best

But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest.

People say that I'm amazing - never face retreat

But they don't see the enemies that lay me at His feet.

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down

They don't know who picks me up when no one is around

I drop my sword and look up for a smile

'Cause deep inside this armour...
Deep inside this armour...

Deep inside this armour...

The warrior is a child.

Taking a Risk

Every month, we receive an inspiring article together with our payslip. This is one of my favorites - every statement is true. I'm not a risk-taker, maybe because I am afraid of what the outcome would be. It might sound boring, but that's what I am. Until I learned that I can still take a risk, a calculated risk, at times. Here it goes...

One simply cannot live without taking risks. Risk is woven into every aspect of our daily experience.

· To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
· To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
· To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
· To expose feelings is to risk exposing our true selves.
· To place your ideas, your dreams, before the crowd is to risk loss.
· To love is to risk not being loved in return.
· To change is to risk acceptance.
· To hope is to risk despair.
· To try at all is to risk failure.

Even so, the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. Because the person who risks nothing:
· accomplishes nothing,
· has nothing,
· feels nothing,
· and in the end, becomes nothing.

Don’t be afraid to take a calculated risk. Risk is essential for growth in every area of life and change is part of life.

One of the greatest risk I've ever done is placing my faith in Jesus. No regrets eversince. . .

Little Surprises

This day is another busy day for me. After days of not reporting in the office, I already expected the tons of workload waiting for me. Actually, before and after a business trip, I am really busy. This is my routine.

So today, my second day after the trip, I planned to start four jobs and wishfully hoping to progress, if not to complete, all four. I readied myself for days of overtime at the office this week. I even posted my to-do list in my cubicle, which by the way are all urgent and important!

But turned out that the urgent works were cut into two! (1st surprise) I received an email stating that one of the projects cannot be started due to some technical problems. (Yehey!!!). And the other one, I need to wait for the completion of additional data before I can start with it. (Another hurray!). (2nd surprise)

I joyfully started with the first project. It took me half of the day to complete the 50%. But unfortunately something was not right. I have to re-do everything! That means my precious 4-5hours was wasted. (sigh)

I looked back at the two surprises I got in the morning, that motivated me to start all over again. And just before 7pm, I was able to complete it 100%! Faster and with better results. (3rd surprise).

Tomorrow, I will start the other project. And I'm expectant to receive little surprises again. (grin)

I stopped counting my daily blessings for a moment, its a good to bring it back. I missed it...