Living Alone

I heard them talking about why were there so many policemen in our neighbor's house? It's only about 7am on that Sunday morning. As they (my mom, sister, niece and other friends) load in the car, they were so curious of what was happening at that house. I could only care less because I was the one driving! (grrr... i hate it when I have to drive on Sundays for very, very petty reasons!) I decided to give a simple look to see how many people are there. But maybe, I was so pre-occupied that morning (which by the way, didn't know what's on my mind that time) that I haven't even glanced on that house.

So there we are at church, listening to the sermon of Doc Alex (in fairness, carry nya ang mga jokes nya ha) and there I was, shivering from the coldness of the aircon and too focused (okay, this may not be the exact word but its the closest, haha!) on the message that I did not even bother to think about that neighbor.

As we were on our way back home, my "passengers" were again talking about that incident. Until my sister said something like, "Si Kuya --- pala yun, kawawa naman..." That was the first time it got my little attention. And I asked, "Who? Who's Kuya ---?". I can see my sister's irritation and frustration on my first and initial reaction. And finally, it all dawned on me. He is our neighbor, actually his house is just a few meters away from ours. I saw him in a very few occasions, and didn't even bother if he knew me or not. He and his spouse were childless, they got married at a pretty old age. His wife passed away one year ago and he lived in his house all by himself. I never really took notice of him until that day happened. He was found lifeless in his home and as the experts said, it maybe more than 24hours that he was dead. It may sound morbid and horrifying to tell the details here, so just to make it short the alleged reason of his death was bangungot.

That night, as I was having dinner with my dad, he's telling me again of the details and how he was found and how he looks like in the coffin. It maybe disgusting but I really felt that I want to stop eating and tell my Tatay to stop telling me those things. But then more than that, I felt compassion towards him, our neighbor. It gives assurance though that he is in heaven now, I hope, for I assumed that he knew the right Way. I felt sad that he died alone, that there was no one he could have told what he was feeling before his death, that he was even a stranger in our place (his hometown is in Manila).

As I lay myself down to bed last night, thoughts of that early morning incident kept on waking up my mind. What if I'll have the same fate? What if I never get married? What if I don't have someone with me when my time comes? . . . These may be crazy questions, but I can't help thinking about my own life . . .

And as always, my loving and caring and compassionate and understanding and faithful heavenly Dad reminded me of His message from that morning sermon, "You are not alone, never alone!".

I had a sweet and peaceful sleep...