Why it is unforgettable?

My friend, Weng, started bugging me on taking a vacation away from Bulacan and Cavite since the time she learned that her boss allowed her to take some time off from Dubai.

We searched for places to go until it was decided that it’ll be in Palawan. I was of course excited for it will be my first time to see the famous Palawan. After the hustle and bustle of travel booking, our feet finally set on the island on the day of December 6, 2009.

Weng was agitated by the disappointment and frustrations she got from her other friend. Fortunately she was able to calm down before we set for our first activity.

First day was spent in a city tour. Went to Iwahig prison, crocodile farm (the difference of this from the rest I’ve seen is that this farm got the biggest crocodiles!), baker’s hill (this is my favorite for the ambiance was very nice, it’s like you’re not in the Philippines), Mitra’s ranch, and many others. Not bad for a trip though.

Second day was my favorite. We’ve seen the world’s famous underground river, it was amazing. I was totally entertained by our bangkero, though he is like a recorder for he’s been in the job 16 years of his life. We had our lunch at the beach. We have other co-tourists and somehow we got easily connected with each other. Our trip was spent laughing and talking. Going back to the hotel, I was so tired and sleepy. The others planned on having coffee after doing some shopping. And they have to “force” me to come. (Feeling ko ang arte ko kasi pinilit pa nila ako). After the short shopping, we went out for coffee. Deri, one of the most comedic in our group, treated us not just for coffee but also for an entertainment. He’s a fan of magic and he showed us some of his antics. We had the best afternoon full of laugh and entertainment.

The last day we spent on island hopping. Did snorkeling and a lot of boat rides. Bohol remains to be my favorite. Biased! Haha! The next time I’ll visit Palawan, I want to see El Nido. (grin)

Going back to Deri, he told us that he’s a photographer. But I didn’t know that he’s not just an ordinary photographer. I’ve searched his name in the net, and this is what I found…

Ibarra Deri, a renowned portraitist, is the first photographer to be included in Huwaran Filipino Achievement Awards' Who's Who in the Philippines. Deri (as he prefers to be called) started photography as a simple hobby. He has three college degrees unrelated to photography: a bachelor's degree biological sciences, a masters degree in teaching in biological sciences, and a degree in dentistry. For love of portraiture, he founded the Society of Portrait Photographers of the Philippines. An avid magician, Deri spices up his photography lectures with magic tricks. He owns and operates three photography studios in both Metro Manila and Bicol.

Are you kidding me?! He took these shots for me and my friend…for free!!!

Boys Will be Boys

Last night, IC invited us to a dinner in celebration of his allegedly “24th” birthday. It was initially planned as a boy’s dine out but for some reasons, the girls were invited as well. And being my “favorite bodyguard”, I set my time for IC. Kahit tampururot sya because I was not able to greet him on the day of his birthday. Haha!

I didn’t know who from the girls are coming but for one I was certain that Minette will join since I contacted her in the morning. She was my personal driver on going to the meeting place (thank you sis, love you). It turned out that it was only me and Minette who will join the dinner from the girls. Before going to Buslo, we even thought that we’ll get OP since it was an “11 boys vs. 2 girls” dinner. Nevertheless, nandun na kami so might as well enjoy IC’s blowout.

Being the only two girls, the men let us sit near the middle. IC started to order crispy pata, bulalo, sisig, etc., etc. Wow, as Minette said di pang-100 ang order ni IC! Pang 65 lang, dahil di ka na aabutin ng 100 years sa taas ng cholesterol ng mga food that were ordered. Haha! I requested for “chicken bahay guya” for it was my favorite.

When the food came, all was excited to eat. Arms, hands, voices, bowls, plates are moving. I was a bit shocked to see these men eating excitedly and tumatayo pa talaga sila to get the food that they want, di talaga sila nahiya samin ni Minette. Hehe. And to my surprise, my request was being feasted by these men! I suddenly shouted, “IC, kinukuha nila order ko!!!” (Nagsumbong! Hahaha). And IC responded, “Sino? Sino?”, as if he can prevent them. In fairness to the men, they stopped and let me get my share. But after 2-3 seconds, my order was gone! Hahaha! Good thing I was able to spare a small amount for Minette so she can taste it. SR only got the sauce! Whew!

After a few minutes, all plates were cleaned. As in bones na lang (literal, buto!) ang natira. Walang kiyeme, walang nasayang, walang natira. Even the soup, ubos! Finished! That ends the “11 boys vs. 2 girls” dinner.

If it were the other way, the scene for “11 girls vs. 2 boys” dinner will be like this: After 30 minutes, you’ll hear the women saying, “sino pa may gusto ng crispy pata? Dami pa dito.” And, “uy, wag na kayo magtira, sayang yung sisig.” And, “take out na lang natin yung bulalo, di naman halos nagalaw.” And after 10 more minutes, the two men are surrounded by the rest of the food which is their favorite part of the dinner. Haha!

I had fun last night, these men are so honest, so true, di man lang nagkunwari sa harap ng pagkain. Hahaha! Thanks for the fun and the food and the trip mga bro. Boys will always be boys.

We ended the night at DQ. I had my all-time favorite brownie temptation blizzard. Sarap!

Let's get "natural" this time...

I am fascinated by nature. Who's not anyway?


For the past two months, nature played a not so good game. Floods here and there. Typhoons come and go. Landslides on highlands. Calamities were everywhere. Was that fascinating? I don't think so. . . cause I was a victim of high-level flood, trapped in water for days!


But lately nature is taking its natural course again, well as for me. I've never been that close to a rainbow! It was last Saturday during our single's retreat in Antipolo. My job for the amazing race was over when my feet led me to another station. I didn't have anything to do that time so I just followed where my feet were going. Reaching the station, I was too lazy to go and see the players. I sat at the fence and reluctantly watched the others enjoying the game. Until I noticed Lio was taking photos of me! I was thinking maybe my mood was an ironic object for such an event. And then she told, "may rainbow sa likod mo." What? A rainbow at my back? Whoo-la, there's a rainbow indeed! It was so big and so clear that I want to touch it. The rainbow is just on the other mountain! So lively and so lovely... Too bad I didn't bring the cable of my phone, I couldn't post the photo here. Anyway, I was actually contemplating on something that time and I was too glad to see that rainbow. It lifted my spirit.


And today, I travelled for more than 4 hours by car. I've been to long trips, but this one was different for we (together with my colleagues) travelled through mountains. No zig-zags, no diziness, no accidents, just pure leisure travel. Malaysia is so rich in beautiful mountains with green everywhere (my fave color!). Loved our trip eventhough it took us more than 4 hours before reaching Penang.

And of course, these "nature tripping" brought my senses back to myself. I miss "me". The focused, organized, joyful and full of spirit lady. Maybe nature is reminding me to be in my natural self again. Though I know it's my Dad's way of telling that He is also missing the "natural" me... I'm going back (really trying) to Whom I belong.

Letting You Go…

You were wearing a red shirt and maong pants when your dad introduced us to each other. I cannot remember the exact date, but it was in Hiyas Convention at the youth bs hall. You were covering your face with your right hand as if ashamed or embarrassed, but you were smiling. From then on, you become a regular face I see every week.

As time goes by, I learned more about you. So carefree, pasaway, maingay and most of all – sobrang masayahin. You may be annoying dahil sa kaingayan at kakulitan mo. But you continued to attend bs and dgroups. I remember you didn’t want to go to college. You didn’t want to study anymore. But after completing your college degree, you have another wish – you don’t want just an entry level in a company, you want to be there at once – at the top position. You shared that you don’t want to get married too, but later I found out that you even got a man before I have! Haha!

These words may not reach you now. But I want to say “thank you”. I learned to be more patient, to pray harder, to laugh more, to talk less and to listen more, to love and appreciate the people around me. Your transfer to Clang’s dgroup, I didn’t talk about it formally. It was hard for me, I just knew it’s time that I let you go. I’ve seen you’re maturing, being more responsible in your own ways. And I was glad that you accepted it, as I expected you would.

I’ve seen you cried once, and I regret that I was not that emphatic with you then. I didn’t understand how painful it was, but I know you’re hurting. We had the longest conversation (kahit thru text lang) that time. I wished I felt for you but that’s all I can do for you then, to be there and listen to what you’ll say.

Happy times, we have so many for laugh and fun are part of you. I won’t forget our time in Balay Indang, I was so glad when you said that you enjoyed the retreat. Your lips mentioned so many good things, it was a confirmation for me that you are really growing. But above all, I am most happy for I knew you have Jesus in your heart.

You were wearing a pink-stripped sort of jump suit (only fashionistas like you know what that dress is called, haha!) when you asked if you have kissed me already. I said, “di pa.” And then you kissed me and said, “aalis kasi ako. Bye.” It was sweet and sincere. We were in the new CCF worship hall, my first time to attend the service. And my last time to see you in your usual smiling face.

The first and the last encounter I have with you, they are treasured forever in my heart. I never thought letting you go could be this painful. Tears will stop from falling, but for now I just let them flow…

Peth, paalam… I’ll see you up there…

We Were Not Spared…

From God’s umbrella of protection and provision.

Philippines is in the hot news again. This time because of the raging recent typhoon that devastated the center of the country. “Ondoy” is now part of one of the most tragic event of the nation.

I wasn’t aware of this typhoon as I woke up that Saturday morning. I needed to move fast or else I will be late again in the GLC class. Rain has started to cover the roads. Before I left the house, I was able to utter a simple prayer for the Marilao women’s retreat. As I look at my schedule that day, going to that retreat is impossible.

After class, the rain even intensified. All I know is the weather that day was not one of my favorites. In the afternoon, as we are about to have our singles’ meeting, a chruchmate informed us that some who went to the Marilao retreat were stranded by flood. As for me, I didn’t take the news seriously, thinking that very soon water will subside.

During and after the meeting, the heavy downpour didn’t stop. We were supposed to have our dgroup when one of my friends received a text message from her mom informing her to go home early. Her parents were trapped at the NLEX. Another friend texted us that she cannot attend as her mom also advised her to go home instead. Yet another one informed us that she left her office at 2pm but transportation is impossible. We decided to have a minute of prayer instead of having dgroup discussion. And I went home immediately as the rain continued to rage and this time together with strong winds.

As I reached home, I thought of the people who were still on the road and silently shot a prayer for them. Hours passed until I heard my brothers talking that water is coming in to our place. I immediately prayed and asked God to spare us from flood. I also texted my friends to pray for us too. Now I fully understand that the situation is serious and critical.

When I woke up that morning, water is now in our garage. Thank God, it didn’t enter the first floor of our house. All throughout the day news about the tragic effect of typhoon were shown in the television, text messages and radio stations. I have friends and relatives who were stranded for more than 16 hours in their cars, some slept not at their homes, and others spent tireless hours just to reach their houses. As I watched and heard of the hopeless tragedy, I felt how God protected my family. We are all safe in our home. That Sunday we even celebrated the 2nd birthday of my nephew, Jumong. Our properties are secured. We have plenty of food supply. My eldest sister and I were talking during dinner and she said, “Ang sarap naman ng food natin, kahit baha ang dami nating pagkain.”

I also felt the love and concern of our closest friends. Calls and text messages from people who I do not regularly talk with, made their way to contact us just to know how we are and to extend their concern. Indeed, it is during these times that you will know people who really care. I am so thankful to my college friends, churchmates and colleagues who called and sent us text messages. My cousin who’s in the States was one of the very first to give us a ring (she was actually my alarm clock that Sunday morning, hehe). And most of all, I am grateful that God protected me and my whole family. It pays to be a “beloved princess”.

I wouldn’t mention the details of the worse scenarios that happened, everything is in the news and internet anyway. What I want to say is that, life is too short to be wasted. In just a blink of an eye, all can perish. Nothing is permanent here on earth. Even inside the house, it is not safe. The question that rings to my mind now is, “what will I be doing when my time comes?” I hope and pray that when God calls me, I am busy… obeying what He has commanded me.

Jam-Packed Week

Or should I say jam-packed weeks?

Do you experience doing so many things yet it seems like you’re not accomplishing anything? And the pile of to-do’s gets higher? That would be the description of my week. It started last month when my works were all important and urgent, so the less important and less urgent ones were left behind. And this week I was able to start doing those jobs. Guess what? It’s Friday now but it looks like I just completed one-fourth of it!

My sleep is also incomplete. I think it was only Monday night that I was able to have a decent (7-hour sleep is a decent one for me) sleep. This will be my routine maybe until Saturday. The work at the office and the activities in the ministry flooded me at the same time. Not that I’m complaining or grumbling, I’m just not prepared for it. Or a more proper way to say it is I did not prepare myself for it.

Well, this Saturday’s one-day retreat is keeping me excited. I know God has a good plan for it and I’m glad I could be part of it. I am a bit anxious though for the group we will be facilitating is composed of married women and probably beyond our age. Nevertheless, this is gonna be a different experience again. (By the way, I haven’t attended the facilitator’s training nor the review of materials. How in the world will I go through the breakout? – Panic!)

I made this entry hoping to keep my sanity…

Weekend Getaway

Define a great weekend. Being with your loved ones (family/friends/partners) in a blue-watered paradise, having fun, trying different activities, laughing together, posing at the cameras, chatting nonstop, eating good food – all at a very reasonable price.

For the very first time, our singles dgroup had an out of town vacation. We went to Puerto Galera in Mindoro. It was also my first time in Galera. We planned this trip months ago and thanks to the organizers, we were able to go.

We left Bulacan very early in the morning of Saturday and reached Galera at past 11am. The trip was good, all of us eleven were excited. Days before the trip, we invited some men to join us since we are all girls. SR, IC and Mic became our official bodyguards for the 2-day vacation. Guys, pwede ba ulit namin kayo kunin for the next outing? Hehehe.

Upon reaching the place, IC started to haggle with hotel price. We were able to get nice and inexpensive rooms. It’s not that hot but I still got the best mango-banana shake for the day. (Sorry guys, you tasted a different one the next day). After lunch, we prepared to go on snorkeling. We made some fishy conversations under water with our life-vests and snorkels on. And of course, posing for more water photos. On our way back, the waves started to make friends with us by vigorously shaking our boat! We were frightened at first but later on enjoyed the shaky ride. What I enjoyed most was our conversation during the trip. Jenna, I will always remember you when I see the waves because this is when you proclaimed your “threat” to all of us. Hahaha.

The finale activity for the day is super fun! My first time to ride a banana boat. I was anxious at the start for I really don’t know how it operates. Well actually, the boat looks more like a pencil rather than a banana (hahaha). A motor boat will pull the banana boat and it will twist the banana to turn 180 degrees (called as “drop”) at an unexpected time. The banana riders must let go of the string they’re holding to and fall freely to the water. We had four drops and each drop is a different experience. First drop, yeah it was a first time so it was really a surprise. Second drop, still a surprise but now you’ll be more careful not to drink more sea water. Third drop, yes still a surprise for you don’t know who will you fall on to. Last and final drop, is yet another surprise because you don’t know who will fall on you! And each time we fall, we need to go back to the banana boat – this was a real challenge to us and to the guides. The sun has started to set at the time we had this activity so it was not that burning hot. Banana boat ride is the best experience but the worst too. At one drop I just felt that the sea water is flowing directly to my esophagus! I learned that it’s not easy to ride back to the boat when there’s no one to help you. I got most of my “pasa” from it. Want to ride again? You bet, I will. Hahaha.

After dinner, we walked by the beach and posed again at the camera. There were some night shows but we were never that interested so the group decided to spend the night in our room. We had some games and the Q&A portion where we learned more about each other. I won’t tell anything – confidentiality, hehehe. Girls will be girls – after the games, the ladies spent another hour talking. At about 2am, we finally slept.

At sunrise the next day, we walked to the rocky side of the beach where we had our devotion. Each of us spent a moment of solitude with God, each of us has our own personal message from the Father, and each of us became His messenger to deliver His word to one another. It was a different intimate encounter with our Creator.

Our boat ride back to Batangas made me dizzy because of the strong wind which caused the waves to shake the boat really hard. I had the worst feeling – sweat and nausea attacked me. Thank God, we were able to reach the port safely. Our ride back to our individual home was smooth and safe.

Monet – ang cute ng kakulitan mo, okay sa mga hirit. Thank you sa orange sarong, sa uulitin. Galing mo gumawa ng itinerary. Hupa na ba maga ng eyes mo? Hehehe.

Clarisse – natuloy din tayo! Ayos ba yung birthday gift ko sayo? Hahaha. Peace tayo ha. I enjoyed our short talk going to Malolos.

Jenna – ang mga one-liner mo nagmamarka talaga. Hahaha. Stay beautiful sis.

Cha – galing mo talaga kumuha ng shots. Buti na lang you brought your camera. Isa ka palang “masa” – masandal, tulog! Hehehe. Were you able to let SR sign your form?

Anna Rose – ibang klase ang kakikayan mo sis! You’re the only one – with dangling earrings, shell-necklace and bangles while snorkeling! Thank you for sharing to us what’s in your heart.

Lorna – sis, kahit super pagod ka, super enjoy naman. Bagay sayo ang yellow sundress mo, pang Ms. U talaga.

Ade – for sure super unforgettable sayo ang lakad na ‘to. First time mo to go overnight with us away from home!

IC – my favorite bodyguard dahil sa skills nya sa pangbabarat, dami kami na-save na money. Hehehe.

Mic – isa ka palang “sensitive” na tao at madaming kwento sa buhay . . . pag-ibig. Hahaha. Thank you sa pagbitbit ng bag ko.

SR – thank you for the very rare opportunity that you let me make kwento naman, pero mas madami ka pa ring kwento than me. Haha!

No doubt, it was a great fun weekend. So guys, where’s the next outing?

Monday Blues

We all experience these Monday blues especially when we came from a great weekend – spent most of the time in bed, watched those tv programs without getting bored, ate enough but good food. And so when Monday comes, you feel lazy to go to work and start the week again.

But this Monday is a different one for me. I was actually looking forward for today! Why? It’s because last week I found out that I have so many to do’s. Haha! So I was excited to start my list and would you believe I woke up before 6am today! (For those who truly know me, 6am is an early wake up time for me). I reached the office at 8am (again, 8am is truly early. I usually arrive at the office 15-30 minutes past 8. Hehe).

Before doing anything, I opened my laptop so that while I do my pre-work stuff (going to powder room, clean my desk, take out my phones, etc.) my weekend emails can be downloaded in my inbox. And guess what? After 1.5hours of waiting, my email is not moving! So I checked my to do’s and started with one that I haven’t completed the week before. Same thing, after more than an hour, it is still running (I am running a calibration update using a mathematical software). I get frustrated because my high hopes for today were faced by the slowness of our server connection…

This is the Monday sickness in our IT system. You will hear from almost everyone a grumble or complaint about the connection speed. The funny thing is we regularly experience this but we still grumble!

For the twist of my Monday story, early today a colleague sent me a very energetic morning greeting through our internal office chat. She doesn’t usually greet me in the mornings so I get excited when I received that message from her. Inspite of the usual Monday blues (and sickness too), she was able to influence a sense of hope again to me. Thanks pal!

I smell the aroma of coffee, almost time for our morning break. I’d better grab a cup of hot coffee while I’m waiting.

Careful

“Sssscrreeecchhhhh!!!” That ‘s the only sound I heard as I stepped hard on my breaks and breathtakingly hoped that I could stop before it’s too late.

The road was clear, it was about 10:15 in the evening yesterday on my way home after our dgroup. I was driving silently and noticed a motorcycle a few meters ahead from my right side. On my left were policemen who stand by at that familiar site as they attend to their usual duty of randomly checking and inspecting the vehicles. The motorcycle in front of me suddenly slowed down, I was on my normal speed until I noticed a signboard in the middle of the road! My initial reflex was to turn right so as not to hit the signage but all of a sudden the motorcycle (now in front of me!!!) was turning left without any signal!!! I stepped as hard as I can on my breaks. ”SScccrreeeeccchhh!!!” My tires stopped before my car hit the motorcycle.

The Sunday incident is still very fresh. On our way home from church, we had an accident. I was the one driving. I was moving on the other side of the road because my mother needs to buy something for tatay. Slowly I pulled over to the left side, with my signal on, when all of a sudden we heard a loud “crraaaassshhh!!!” half-way my turn. I looked at my side mirror and saw a motorcycle at our back. I didn’t know if I will go out from the car (probably I was praying that we can go home immediately and this is not happening). My brother approached the driver of that motorcycle who had bruises on his arms and leg, and a deep violet mark on his face. He has no helmet and the front of his motor was severely damaged. A few minutes later, I stepped out of the car and went to the man. I asked him, “Ano po ba?” (Ano po ba nangyari? Ano po ba gagawin natin? These were actually the questions in my mind). The man said, “Ok na yung sasakyan, tulungan mo na lang akong magpagamot.” I haven’t given him a direct answer, I just said that we’ll call the police so the incident can be investigated.

In both incidents, naramdaman ko ang nginig sa katawan ko. I don’t know what to do, whom to call, how to get out of it. Last night, I cried, I forced myself to let out the tears because deep inside I was very, very scared. Kinakausap ko si God, “Bakit naman ganun? Bakit ang bilis naman ng repeat? Sunday and then Tuesday?" I needed to say that, I have to let it out.

And in both incidents, I experienced how real God is, how faithful He is with His words, how He protects His children. Sunday accident didn’t cause any harm to my family, all was safe. With me were my two 6-year old and 1 year old nephews, my 8th month pregnant sister in law, my 72-year old mom, my teenager niece, my eldest sister and brother. A little bent damaged my father’s car, but I consider it very minimal. Last night’s was God’s hand in action. I drove home as if nothing happened. My prayer for safety is even intensified and I could say I am more careful now with my driving. I told God to help me focus on His character and His grace because there were negative things that are running through my mind. I remember the testimony from that Sunday preaching, I told God that I want the same peace, the peace that transcends all understanding. I had a good night sleep for I know God granted my prayer.

I remember that I prayed to have an encounter with God because I can feel that my spirit is getting weak. If only we can choose the encounters we could have just to make our spirit alive and passionate again. Now I get the point, be careful with what you’re asking for. Hahaha.

I don’t like motorcycles, just by seeing them, I can feel the risks and dangers along the road. But whenever I see a motorcycle, it also reminds of someone. And because of the two incidents… is God trying to humor me? LOL

I Miss "Home"

All I want is to be back, to where I was weeks or months before. Words cannot explain how I feel lately, I don’t know how far I’ve been to. All I know is that I miss “home”.

“Home” is a place where you are most comfortable with. According to Wikipedia, a home is a place of comfort and refuge. I miss my place of refuge, the place where I am safe and secured.

How and when was my “going away from home” started? It was when I decided to be on my own and be far from the truth. It was so subtle. It was not a complete fun. It was a dangerous adventure. I knew all these but have put them only at the back of my mind. I was disappointed with myself, I thought I was strong. I continued my journey to the other side of the road, deliberately neglecting the signs and warnings along the way. I made some U-turns, but those are not enough to bring me back “home”.

Until I came to the point where I needed to stop. I have to rest and recharge for my journey. It was at this time that I turned back and saw how far I was from "home". I looked to where I am going and saw nothing. I was tired. I was hopeless. I was drained. I wanted to explode. I wished that this is just a dream and nothing is real. But the more I wanted to escape, the more I see that all is true.

I need to make a decision, a tough and firm decision. Twice, I was saved from a head-on collision (deep compromise) by Someone who never left me nor forsaken me. He was there all the time, waiting for me every morning to turn to Him and let Him take the wheel. He could have said boldly every single mistake I did right in front of my face, but He didn’t. Never have I heard any condemnation from Him. Never have I felt Him getting impatient of me. Never have I heard Him blaming me. All I see is His love, His concern and His grace towards me. I looked at Him, gave Him the wheel and surrendered my cause. He held my hand and together we go back “home”. Thank You, my Daddy God.

(The Warrior is a Child by Twila Paris)

Lately I've been winning battles left and right

But even winners can get wounded in the fight

People say that I'm amazing, strong beyond my years

But they don't see inside of me, I'm hiding all the tears.

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down

They don't know who picks me up when no one is around

I drop my sword and cry for just a while

Deep inside this armour - the warrior is a child.

Unafraid because His armour is the best

But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest.

People say that I'm amazing - never face retreat

But they don't see the enemies that lay me at His feet.

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down

They don't know who picks me up when no one is around

I drop my sword and look up for a smile

'Cause deep inside this armour...
Deep inside this armour...

Deep inside this armour...

The warrior is a child.

Taking a Risk

Every month, we receive an inspiring article together with our payslip. This is one of my favorites - every statement is true. I'm not a risk-taker, maybe because I am afraid of what the outcome would be. It might sound boring, but that's what I am. Until I learned that I can still take a risk, a calculated risk, at times. Here it goes...

One simply cannot live without taking risks. Risk is woven into every aspect of our daily experience.

· To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
· To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
· To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
· To expose feelings is to risk exposing our true selves.
· To place your ideas, your dreams, before the crowd is to risk loss.
· To love is to risk not being loved in return.
· To change is to risk acceptance.
· To hope is to risk despair.
· To try at all is to risk failure.

Even so, the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. Because the person who risks nothing:
· accomplishes nothing,
· has nothing,
· feels nothing,
· and in the end, becomes nothing.

Don’t be afraid to take a calculated risk. Risk is essential for growth in every area of life and change is part of life.

One of the greatest risk I've ever done is placing my faith in Jesus. No regrets eversince. . .

Little Surprises

This day is another busy day for me. After days of not reporting in the office, I already expected the tons of workload waiting for me. Actually, before and after a business trip, I am really busy. This is my routine.

So today, my second day after the trip, I planned to start four jobs and wishfully hoping to progress, if not to complete, all four. I readied myself for days of overtime at the office this week. I even posted my to-do list in my cubicle, which by the way are all urgent and important!

But turned out that the urgent works were cut into two! (1st surprise) I received an email stating that one of the projects cannot be started due to some technical problems. (Yehey!!!). And the other one, I need to wait for the completion of additional data before I can start with it. (Another hurray!). (2nd surprise)

I joyfully started with the first project. It took me half of the day to complete the 50%. But unfortunately something was not right. I have to re-do everything! That means my precious 4-5hours was wasted. (sigh)

I looked back at the two surprises I got in the morning, that motivated me to start all over again. And just before 7pm, I was able to complete it 100%! Faster and with better results. (3rd surprise).

Tomorrow, I will start the other project. And I'm expectant to receive little surprises again. (grin)

I stopped counting my daily blessings for a moment, its a good to bring it back. I missed it...

Current thoughts...

Breaking the bond is difficult especially if the thing that's holding you is hard to let go.
You can't let go because you still want the link.
You are attached to the link because you are enjoying what it gives.
You are enjoying because you somehow need it.
You need it because you find your satisfaction with it.
But you know it really cannot satisfy.
And you are in bondage even if you know that you have to let go.
Eventhough you know that in the end, it won't matter.
It won't matter because it is not right.
It is not right because Someone is not pleased.
You know He is not pleased, but you still continue...

And now you are trapped.
Cannot let go, even if you want to.
Because deep inside, you don't really want to.
Life, its complicated.
Emotion, its deceptive.
Bondage breaking, its a hard thing.
It involves pain and hurt and tears.
Sooner or later you have to move on and choose the right thing.
You have to decide and willfully give in.
Before it destructs you...

Fireworks!!!

For the past few days, I was expectant and excited for my birthday. Having blues and senti moments too. I think that’s normal, most of the people I know feel the same on their birthdays.

We had a two-day leadership retreat at San Felipe, Zambales last April 9 -10, 2009. At first I was not excited, I even told one of my friends about it. I get disappointed and somewhat frustrated when I hear the others planning for bonding and teambuilding activities. There’s nothing wrong with that, aren’t we supposed to do that? But I was hoping to hear plans on how the leaders will be more passionate and committed and on fire for the service. I was hoping that it will be a more moving encounter than regular retreats since it is a leadership activity. Being "candid" as I am, I talked to the leader of the singles about it. As usual, we had a heated discussion but as always, we both agreed to disagree.

Plans, schedules and topics have been laid down. All was set. On the way to the venue, I get a little excited. Days before, I cried out to God because I was overwhelmed with what’s going to happen. There are times that I would ask God what can I do for Him. But birthdays are different, it’s my day, my special day. I guess it’s ok to ask God for a surprise and be selfish for one day. Haha! During the activity planning, it was decided that all the leaders will share the gospel on the 2nd day, my special day. I was overwhelmed. I was astonished. I was amazed. All the while I think of myself and my birthday. But God has other plans. April 10, 2009 is a good Friday – a time when most of the people are commemorating the death of Jesus. I was in awe when I realized that God has given me the greatest gift, that is to share His love, His salvation, His Son to others. This is His ultimate gift to me – to use me in sharing the good news.

The sharing was extremely amazing. All of us has our own stories to tell. We were in pairs in spreading the good news in San Felipe. There were funny tales, frustrating stories, exciting and hyper talks, heartfelt lines, touching words – but above all, each one of us experienced the joy of sharing Jesus. Almost half of the group had their first time to tell the gospel to others, to people we hardly know.

My partner is not a first-timer. Nevertheless, we rehearsed and planned on how we will be delivering the gospel. There were three people God sent us to share the gospel with, first with a man and another batch with two married women. I was blessed with my partner as he started the conversation in a relaxed mood. Later on I found myself doing most of the talking (what’s new? Haha!). And he just let me do the job. At the end, he added points and challenges to the people we shared the good news with. These three souls were not new to the gospel, but God humbled their hearts to pray and recommit their lives and accepted Jesus in their hearts.

I should be overjoyed with the result of the retreat… But deep in my heart there was not enough joy, I felt something is still missing, lacking. I was at times by myself, quiet, silent, not the usual happy lady. One of my closest friend noticed it and she admitted that at one instance she got disappointed with me, with my actions, with my words, with how I relate to her, to others. Last Saturday, God reviewed to me the lesson on how to be satisfied with Him. I do my responsibility as a Christian – having my quiet time, reading the bible, attending worship services – you name it, I am doing it. But I still feel discontented, unsatisfied. Why? I asked God what’s wrong with me. As I studied the day 3 lesson from week two of Breaking Free, God answered my question. He created me to have discontentment and dissatisfaction in all areas of my life, including my spiritual walk. Why? So that I will seek Him and know Him more and more, that I will thirst and hunger for more of Him, that I will not be satisfied and contented with only a few things about Him. Yes, I am doing my responsibility but is my heart yearning, longint to have more of Jesus? That hit me to the core. I stopped growing in love with my Savior.

When I reached home that Friday, my mother cooked pancit for me. I was thankful for my family that we celebrated my special day eventhough I spent only a little time with them that day. After less than one hour, I saw familiar faces in our home. I was with these singlemen and women for two days… I knew it! My friends planned something for me. They blindfolded me while they prepare their surprise. At one time, I even annoyed them because I was the type who doesn’t get surprised easily. I spoiled their plan a bit. (Sorry guys, I was expectant you know? Hehehe). When they took off the blindfold, there were… FIREWORKS!!! It was so beautiful. As the fireworks painted the sky with colors, lights and sounds, my friends started to sing the most joyful happy birthday song… Perfect! Everytime I see fireworks, it reminds me of God. The happy, colorful lights are smiles and nods and assurances from my Father. I “seized the moment” and enjoyed watching the fireworks and listening to the song. My head up high, thinking about God, savoring that special time. My dgroup even made a card with sort-of caricature of me. Thank you sis for the surprise, you really got me there. I love you all. (Naku, mausok yata dito. Hehehe)

I know it was my Daddy God who planned for everything. The loud rejoicing in heaven and the fireworks on earth… amazing! I asked forgiveness from my Father, for feeling empty, unsatisfied, selfish, for not being a good example at times. I accepted His mercy, His grace, His forgiveness. It’s so nice to be back again, to be happy, to seek more of God, to love my Father evenmore, to be joyful as the fireworks...

25 Random Things

This is the last among the 3 tags my bestfriend got me into. I won't be tagging my other friends but if any of you want to do this, you are free to do so.

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. The greatest thing that ever happened to me was when I accepted Jesus in my life and started a personal relationship with Him.
2. I keep simple things in my heart that only God knows. Things that I cannot share to my family nor to my closest friends. It may be pain or victory or hurt or joy. Simple things that me and my God share.
3. I love listening to people from all walks of life, from the younger generation to matured ones. I am fascinated hearing their stories and looking at their eyes as they glitter with pride and joy when they share their life.
4. When I’m in the bathroom, I hate it when someone knocks and tells me to hurry up.
5. I can sleep very late in the evening, but I hate waking up at 4am or earlier. I’m not an early riser.
6. I need to have a rest day in a week. If not, I can easily get sick the next week.
7. My bestfriend and I have so many things in common- fashion, humor, hobbies, height (hehehe), food – you name it, we both like it (more or less). She calls us as “twinnies”.
8. I love sashimi! My most fave is pink salmon sashimi. I miss Saisaki…
9. I wanted to have a boy bestfriend, but he didn’t come…yet. I think I will meet him this year (wide smile).
10. I used to believe that Mapua is a school acronym. It’s actually a surname. By the way, miss my college days… (senti mode).
11. When I was a kid, I wanted to become a doctor but my cousin, who was a med student then and a licensed doctor now, discouraged me saying it is too difficult. I ended up as an engineer… no regrets though.
12. As of this writing, I am employed in the same office. . . more than eleven years. Whew!
13. I cry my heart out at movies. Legends of the Fall, Braveheart and Passion of the Christ – to name a few.
14. The most extreme adventures I’ve tried: space shuttle and anchor’s away rides of Enchanted Kingdom, rolling disc of Everland, Korea. For me, those are extremes. LOL
15. My very first diary was given by my Ate on 1991. I still keep it together with 5 more. I love writing journals and it gives unexplainable mixed feeling when I read the past stories I had.
16. Besides journals, I also keep letters/cards/notes/gift tags from loved ones and friends. These are my treasures.
17. I enjoyed my childhood very much. I played all sort of Pinoy games and made a lot of funny stuff with friends and family. From taguan to moro-moro, barilan to football, paper doll making to tinda-tindahanan, Chinese garter to luksong tinik, and many more…
18. The most embarrassing experience I ever had is still a secret. LOL
19. My first heartbreak was after I graduated from college. I was not allowed to have a boyfriend when I was still studying but at the time that I’m ready to entertain my long-time friend, he’s got a girl. I cried…
20. I don’t smoke. I don’t drink. I don’t gamble. Boring to some but good for me.
21. I have a Saturday tattoo – my singles dgroup. My weekend is not complete when we don’t have meetings.
22. I cannot remember the total number of my inaanak. I stopped counting two years ago, the total then was 30.
23. My family is not perfect but if given a chance to choose for another one, it will still be them. We are not showy but we extend the love and respect in other ways. For my four siblings that got married, I cried for each. I don’t know why it saddened me to see them sharing their life to another.
24. One day, I will walk the aisle to marry the best man God prepared for me.
25. I believe in one God. I believe in life after death. I believe in heaven and hell. I believe that it is only by faith in Jesus than one can be saved. Acknowledging Him as the Savior and making Him as Lord is the greatest decision a man can do.

I never thought writing 25 random things can be this fun (and hard). I made it bes, though it took me a while to start it. :)

Just a Name Game

Tagged by no other than my bes, Pamela. :)

It's not that hard. Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag 5 people.

Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real...nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

1. What is your name : Marie

2. A four Letter Word : Move

3. A boy's Name : Michael

4. A girl's Name : Mariel

5. An occupation : Manager

6. A color : Maroon

7. Something you'll wear : Make-up

9. A food : Maki

10. Something found in the bathroom: Mirror

11. A place : Mexico

12. A reason for being late : Morning sickness

13. Something you'd shout : Move on!

14. A movie title : Moulin Rouge

15. Something you drink : Mountain Dew

16. A musical group: Mercy Me

17. An animal : Mammoth

18. A street name : Main Street

19. A type of car : Mercedes

20. The title of a song : My Girl

And I tag Anna, Ade, Clarisse, Monet, April.

Bucket List

My bestfriend just updated her blog and guess what? She tagged me on all her new blog entries! (That's what bestfriends are for! ). This is the easiest among the 3 and here it goes...

Place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not, then send it to your friends (including me).

Things you have done during your lifetime (I wish to do more, hehehe):

(x) Gone on a blind date
( ) Skipped school gym class
(x) Watched someone die
(x) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
( ) Been to Florida
( ) Been to Hawaii
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a helicopter
(x) Been lost
( ) Gone to Washington, DC
( ) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers
( ) Recently colored with crayons
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) Made prank phone calls
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere
( ) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone
(x) Blown bubbles
( ) Gone ice-skating
(x) Gone to the movies
( ) Been deep sea fishing
( ) Driven across the United States
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
( ) Gone snowmobiling
( ) Lived in more than one country
( ) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
( ) Seen a falling star and made a wish
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
( ) Seen the Statue of Liberty
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
( ) Been on a cruise
(x) Traveled by train
( ) Traveled by motorcycle
(x) Been horse back riding
( ) Ridden on a San Francisco Cable Car
(x) Been to Disneyland
( ) Been in a rain forest
( ) Seen whales in the ocean
(x) Been to Niagara Falls
( ) Ridden on an elephant
( ) Swam with dolphins
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
( ) Been spinnaker flying
( ) Been water-skiing
( ) Been snow-skiing
( ) Been to Westminster Abbey
( ) Been to the Louvre
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean
( ) Been to a Major League Baseball game
( ) Been to a National Football League game
( ) Been to a Hockey game
( ) Been to an NBA game

I tag Ade, Clarisse and Monet.

The Lord of the Rings

Who wouldn’t like this movie??!! Well, I do . . . or I used to. I am not a fan of movies with dim background or killings or death. I just don’t like to be affected with the sadness or fear of darkness.

I’ve seen the Fellowship of the Ring years ago and honestly, I can’t remember exactly what happened on that episode. I told myself not to watch any sequels of that film. Indeed, I have kept my word.

Until this month my officemate said he has all the three episodes. At first, I was not interested but for lack of time going to movie houses lately, I decided to borrow the said copies. By the way, his DVDs are the uncut versions, so each episode runs for more than 3 long hours! Inspite of, I brought home the copies.

For the first episode, I was refreshed of the scenes and the stories that were erased from my memory since I first watched it. How the fellowship was established, how each character was presented, how the mission was set. Legolas, the great Elf archer, caught my attention. He is cute. Hahaha.

And so that’s it, not bad for the first part. The second episode is entitled The Two Towers. More and more characters were introduced, more and more kingdoms and places were named, and the plot became more complicated. Gandalf the Grey became Gandalf the White wizard. The plot is making me excited. Legolas is still cute. Hahaha. (Just for curiosity’s sake, his name is Orlando Bloom, been in different blockbuster movies.)

Last night, my mind was battling with its own if I will finish the third episode. And of course, I did watch the last copy. And this time, I noticed another character. He is the brother of Boromir, the only member of the fellowship who died. Faramir is handsome. Hahaha. I slept at past 1am! I had a good sleep though.

This movie has tons of lessons. I admire the loyalty and faith of Sam to Frodo. His heart is very pure. It was not tainted, not even once, by the greediness of the Ring. He remained true and authentic to his friend. He gave all he can give just to help his friend complete the mission even if Frodo, at one point, disregarded their friendship. Sam kept the covenant, he wouldn’t let go of Frodo. This commitment made me pause and reflect on my covenant with God. Believe or not, I cried. I remembered the times I’ve been like Frodo, willfully neglected my covenant with God. I pray that I will stick with my commitment.

Another lesson that made a great impact to me is about hope. The Eye can see everything, in fact it can even tell what the future will be. But just as the rest, it also has weakness, it also cannot control all. Aragorn hold on to what hope is all about. Even if he knows it’s the end and even if they fight, they will be overtaken, he still fought and hold on to his hope. He was made King, the last episode, The Return of the King. My lesson? When all seems questionable, when everything is not going well, when people are neglecting God, when others do not believe in Jesus, there is hope. God is the hope. He is omniscient, He is omnipotent, He is omnipresent. And He is the King of kings and the Lord of lords.

One last thing that I realized, I am not the main character. Until the last episode, I am for Legolas. He is not the leader, he is just a secondary character. Refined, loyal and obedient to his leader and not to mention that he is a good friend to Gimli (the Dwarf) too. The same goes for me, in this life, I am not the lead character, I am the follower of my Leader who is the King. My life on earth is all about Jesus. And I pray that I would be faithful to my word until eternity…

How to move on?

We usually encounter this question on love problems, especially with broken hearts. Hmmm, am I really talking about lovelife? I admit I am not very good at this, but let me share with you some learnings and observations I personally got from my "surroundings" and experiences.


M - make a decision to move on. God created us with the will - the freedom to choose, to make a choice. I believe that the first big step in moving on is to convince yourself that you have to move on. Stick with your decision and move on.

O - open your heart. It's not the end of the world, a bright and beautiful day is waiting for you. You may be wounded, but time heals all wounds. Smile a lot and open up your heart to God.

V - victor or a victim? No matter how dark and painful it was, there is always a lesson to learn. Victory is not the absence of failure, it's how you stand up and face the world with a renewed strength. So be a victor rather than a poor victim.

E - engage in activities with eternal values. You won't realize it until you go out and explore the world. A lot of hearts are hurting, a lot of minds are longing, a lot of lives are suffering, a lot of souls are searching . . . all more than you do. Share Jesus and share your blessings to others.


O - organize your thoughts and pamper yourself. You will feel good, you will look good. Rather than indulging with pity party, get a new hairdo, shop for new things, eat well, play badminton, watch good films, hang out with trusted friends. You can do a lot of better things.

N - now! You have been mourning for so long, hoping for nothing, crying like a river. Where did they bring you? Nowhere. Time to move on. And that time is now! Surrender your life to Jesus. If you're a Christian, recommit yourself to Him. Jesus not only heals, He also restores, He makes the broken whole, He gives hope, He is faithful and He is your Savior . . .

Nicknames (tagged by Minette)

RULE: list all the names you were called by and the people who calls you that. Tag at least 5 members of your contacts and give a comment on their site for them to know they've been tagged.

Marie - the very first name I've known as my nickname. Haha! My family and relatives call me by this name.

Ana - when I was growing up, I wanted to change my nickname because I'm so used to be called as "Marie" (ha, does this make sense? LOL). So when I entered college, I introduced myself as "Ana". From then on until now that I'm working, I am known as Ana.

Ana Marie - yes, fullname. This is my high school nickname. Would you believe that my first name is my nickname at school? LOL. And now my new brother in law also calls me by this.

Ann Marie - my aunt used to call me by this name. I like it. :)

Ann/Anne - my nickname for people who cannot stand saying the second syllable of "Ana". LOL

Bes - my bestfriend calls me by this, short for bespren. Hahaha

Ate Marie - besides from "Marie", my churchmates call me by this, from youth to couples. Hehehe

Bunso - my 2nd most loved nickname. My upper dgroupmates call me by this simply because I am the youngest in the group. In contrast to my nickname from my lower dgroup. Hahaha

Anak - only my mommy A and my daddy Pastor E call be by this, beloved adopted daughter. Hehehe

Sis - my singles dgroupmates call me by this. I love it because they don't need to call me Ate sometimes. Hehehe

Ana C. - what is one of the most common names for girls? What else but Ana or Anna! Ana C. is my nickname in the office. There was a time that there were 3 Ana/Anna's in my workplace! So to distinguish one from the other, my colleagues add the first letter of our surname. This one makes sense! LOL

Frend - Weng, my college friend, calls all her friends by this and I believe I'm of them. Hahaha

Sister - my Ate calls me by this, for very obvious reason. LOL

Ana Banana - only my former manager calls me by this. It was years ago but up to now she still calls me "Ana Banana".

Ms. Asia Pacific - only Beth, my colleague, calls me by this. I feel like a beauty queen when I hear her calling me this. (wishful thinking)

Eiram - the opposite of Marie. This is the codename in my very first diary, as if people who might read my journals wouldn't know that it's me. (insanity)

I am tagging Pam, Anna, Lorna, Mae, SR.