What Would You Rather Have?

Loving someone who loves you back… but thousands of miles are keeping you apart.

Or

Loving someone within your reach… but doesn’t love you the way you want him to.

As for me, I’d rather risk to love than not to love at all.

Tearless Cry

Why do I feel this bad whenever you shut me off? I attempted in so many times to open up but on each try, you responded differently. I think I can’t blame me if I’m distancing myself from you. I feel like you don’t want to enter my world anymore. It pains me…really. You’re so different now. And I miss the old you. I need you now more than ever. But I can’t feel your presence; all I see is the wall that was invisibly built between us. I want to believe that the friendship will still be saved but on each passing time, I can feel that the hope becomes dimmer and dimmer. I want to be far from you – to protect myself from the pain of losing you. I have so much hurt in my heart that bearing the thought of you slowly going out of my life is too hard. My heart is crushing inside, it’s too painful.

Life's Lessons

I’ve learned that the people closest to you are ones capable of hurting you the most. Yet they are also the ones that you can still love and forgive no matter what they did to you.

I’ve learned that no matter how great or how small he/she did something to you for as long as you are keeping some hurt from him/her, you will always get irked with his/her petty/unconscious moves towards you. Even without planning about it, you are always watching if he/she will commit a mistake or not.

I’ve learned that all people, even your family or bestest friends, can disappoint you. Because, just like you, they too are imperfect.

I’ve learned that no secret can be kept forever. One day, you’ll tell someone about it. Only then will you feel that it was a still a relief afterall. It may take time, even years, but a time will come for the secrets to be revealed.

I’ve learned that “going back” is easier than “moving on”. Even though the latter is harder, you still choose what is right, that is to continue moving forward.

I’ve learned that each person needs some time to be by himself, alone. It gives healing even if he doesn’t do anything, just by being alone is enough.

I’ve learned that whatever we prayed for, the right time will come that God will answer it. Even if we have forgotten about it, when God answers it, we will remember that we have prayed for it (whether God’s answer is a Yes or a No).

I’ve learned that if you really want to do something, nothing can get in the way to keep you from doing it.

I’ve learned that people commit mistakes and God, by His grace, creates another day so that people can start anew.

A Moment Like This

Just when I’m having a celebration in my mind as we are nearing the end of my business trip, my health finally gave in. I wasn’t able to complete my last objective for today. I am too weak to go on. Or was it just a state of mind? I tried to continue but more often than not, I found myself checking the clock and wishing that it’s over. I feel ashamed of my condition that my colleagues are worrying about me. I really hate this state when my sickness is blowing out slowly. This sore throat makes me feel very uncomfortable… I wish I am home.

Ironically, I eat a lot here. I get an average 7-hour sleep every night. I don’t skip meals, even those little snacks. But still, I got sick.