Nothing to Write

These past few days were busy time for me. The busyness I used to be. The out-of-time meals. The over staying at the office. Phone calls and emails everywhere. Reports and projects with deadlines. Oh yes, busy as a bee as my bestfriend calls it.

And today it's still 30minutes before the clock ticks 5pm but I'm too lazy to start another work. It's either I'll do overtime or I'll mess up with it. But I need to leave at 5pm. So I decided to write a blog instead.

Hmmm, but what will I write? I have another topic that I started days ago but can't find the right time to complete it though.

Well, lately I feel how "nakakasakal" is. Too much time with that person, too much talk with another, too much words to say until I feel like stopping or avoiding it. Maybe I have so much things in my mind that's why I feel this way. Maybe because the holiday season is here. Maybe a lot of preparations to do. Maybe I'm just thinking that I'm feeling it. A lot of maybe's. No matter the reason is, I know this will pass and there's a lesson in it. I still cannot figure what is it for now, my mind is numb to think of it yet. But I believe there is a lesson to learn...

He will be missed

We are colleagues but we only communicate through emails and calls. Until the year 2006 I was given a chance to meet him in person in one of our trainings. First impression - silent, warm, "usual" American, and oh I can't understand his words clearly, they're so slang. We've been together in that training for more than one week. We usually have our dinner and breakfast together since we were booked at the same hotel. On those times I've learned that he is very warm, very silent (won't-talk-unless-you-initiate-the-conversation), very intelligent (he was in the academe for years), very hardworking, and he is a Christian. I also learned that he leads a bible study group, that he and his wife are active in the ministry, that his kids go to missionary trips when on vacation and that he works for God. At the end of the training, I gave him my accountability card. I don't know if he kept or used it.

We usually talk about work. But there are also times that we talk about our faith and share how we experienced God. I remember I sent him the testimony I shared in our church and he asked my permission to share it to the rest of his friends in our US office. Then in one of those times, he shared about his special son. By merely looking at him, you wouldn't expect that he can be open to others, especially about his family. Or maybe I judged him to be so reserved.

Physically, he is about 6'5" tall, huge built, white skinned, with brown eyes and brown hair. This big man keeps a very soft and kind heart. Upon learning about his son, our bond became more than colleagues. When we have time, we will talk about our personal as well as our spiritual life. There was this moment that we both feel spiritually weak, and the stories we shared with each other were enough to boast our spirit again. He would tell me that I am always in his prayers, especially when I travel. I was amazed the first time I heard it from him, I didn't know that God gave me a father more than a colleague in him. Though lately we don't usually talk, we both know that we keep our prayers for each other.

Until last week I received an email from him.

Ana,

I wanted to let you know before the announcement comes out that I have accepted a new position and will be leaving in February. I have really enjoyed our time working together and hope we can stay in touch...I will miss the consistent communication with you...I missed you while you were on vacation...

Those words were enough for my tears to fall. I was really sad. I felt like I am about to loose a very dear friend. Though we are still in the same company, but he will be moving to another business unit. Oh, I am missing him even now.

He assured me that we still keep in touch. And yes, life has to "move on". I stopped crying though I still feel sad especially at times when I think about our talks.

Yesterday my boss showed me an email from him, it reads:

Please take care of Ana. She's a treasure...

Bob, you are making me cry again . . .

Questions from A - Z

I like to know more about my friends so I'm fond of tagging or answering trivia questions. I snatched this one (does that make me a thief???) from a blog of my friend's friend. Hehehe. I hope the people I tagged will also enjoy as much as I did in answering each item. Here it goes...

A.) Attached or single? — Joyfully single
B.) Best friend? — Pam David, dgroup, my sisters
C.) Cake or pie? — Cake
D.) Day of choice? — Saturday, I love hanging out with my dgroup sisters.
E.) Essential item? — Bible. Cellphone. Pressed powder, sunblock, comb. Money!!!
F.) Favorite color? — My like for color is seasonal. But currently, I love yellow and green.
G.) Gummy bears or worms? — Gummy worms, it's easier to bite and chew.
H.) Hometown? — Bulacan.
I.) Favorite indulgence? — Fashmatch! So happy when it was brought back to the net. Yey!
J.) January or July? — January, everbody seems lazy that time eh, no need to hurry. Hahaha. Lazy me!
K.) Kids? — None yet. I hope to have when the time comes.
L.) Life isn’t complete without? — knowing God. Only then can one live his life to the fullest.
M.) Marriage date? — Wish I have the answer. Hahaha. Still waiting for my GB.
N.) Number of magazine subscriptions? – I haven’t subscribed to any. I usually read them at hair salons, clinics, airplanes – basta dun sa free. Hahaha
O.) Orange or apple? — Orange, I need fiber.
P.) Phobias? — None that I can think of. But I’m scared with crawling insects, pests, etc.
Q.) Quotes? — Pa cheeseburger ka naman! (Is it consider a quote? LOL).
R.) Reasons to smile? — jokes, mushy lines, profound words, transformed lives, moon, stars…
S.) Season of choice? — Summer. I don’t like cold weather.
T.) Tag 5 people – Pam, Minette, Clarisse, Monet, Shirley
U.) Unknown fact about me? – Artista ako. LOL
V.) Vegetable? — All high-fiber veggies!
W.) Worst habit? — Procrastinating. Dami plans, super konti natutuloy.
X.) X-ray or ultrasound? – X-ray. Tagal kasi ng ultrasound tapos may gel pa, nilalamig ako. Hahaha
Y.) Your favorite food(s)? – Sashimi, cheeseburger de luxe and fries ng McDo, pizza, pasta.
Z.) Zodiac Sign – Aries.

Longest time

(I hope you are not eating while you read this entry)

Have you had the longest time of your life? My question sounds crazy, I know. I know what crazy means . . . well at least for the last two days maybe.

It was my first time to taste white cream cheese. It was yummy and of course, very creamy. It was so nice with pandesal and hot coffee. It was so good that I ate three pandesals! That was about 10am.

Come 12nn, I still feel full. You see my digestion is not that efficient so when I eat much, I don't easily feel hungry after a number of hours. So I guess, its normal. 3pm I ate bread again. All is normal, as far as my tummy is concern.

I will be attending a meeting at 7pm that night. I was supposed to leave the office at 545pm but I was out by 6pm. Why? Because my tummy started to feel crazy! At maybe about 4pm, I felt a terrible pain. I just can't move but after a few minutes it was gone. I felt relieved but not before I decided to leave the office. I went to the "throne". That helped. Went to the meeting as normal. And before I slept that night, I visited the "throne" again.

The next day, I feel good. Back to usual routine at work. All is normal.

And then yesterday afternoon, my tummy went crazy again. I have to meet a friend at night and we decided to have dinner before listening to the message at church. Once again, I visited the "throne" before I met up with her. Thankfully, all night was good.

At 1am this morning, I was awaken by the crazyness inside me, that is, inside my tummy. I immediately got up from bed and seated on the throne. Oh man, I was there for almost one hour! The pain was really, really terrible. I felt like I was going to faint every time it attacks. I was already thinking of waking up my father to bring me to the hospital. But that was one o'clock in the morning! So there I was, sitting on the "throne", silently suffering that one-hour excruciating pain. That was the longest one-hour I waited in my life! I decided to get back to bed, thankfully I was able to get a good sleep. When I woke up this morning, I felt weak but not really, really weak. I went to work late. I told my boss I was not feeling well that early morning and he understood.

So far, I feel "sane" inside. Haha! I hope that crazyness won't attack anymore. I still don't know if it is because of that cream cheese because I was the only one who suffered that pain. About 10 of us ate that cheese. Anyway, I hope my stomach is on its way to normal. :)

By the way, we have ice cream at the office today. Choco pinipig flavor. Aaahh, too bad I did not eat. Need lots of self-control there, hehe. As my bestfriend said, better safe than sorry. :(

Once in a while

Jason Mraz, a 31-year old American singer-song writer. I like the sound of his music, relaxing and pop is one of my favorite. I'm not an avid fan so I don't really look for the lyrics. Until lately I often hear his songs and since Im a bit in the "boredom" mode, I looked at his profiles. He's an achiever, no doubt about it. I'm not sure if he is a believer but his website says that his songs are about what he sees in life. Got some of the lines from his songs:

Title: I'm Yours
Well you dawned on me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
Now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothin's going to stop me but the fine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some
But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Title: Remedy
When I fall in love I take my time
There's no needto hurry when I'm making up my mind
You can turnoff the sun but I'm still gonna shine
And I'll tell you why
Becausethe remedy is the experience.
It is a dangerousliaison I say the comedy is that its serious.
Which is a strange enough new play on words I say
The tragedy is how you're gonna spend
The rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends
Because it all amounts tonothing in the end.


And he is cute in this photo. :)

For a Change . . .

Updated the skin of my blog out of boredom. Haha! After my long vacation, I couldn't believe I will still have time to get bored. (yeah, I should count it as blessing...)

Why such a title? I read it again. The only reason I make another entry is because of the changed template but as I read my title again it reminded me of the changes that need to manifest in my life.

Another year is coming and along with that is another change in my age. Why can't the aging stop? Hahaha, is this a question or a plea? Whatever! Anyway, I'm getting older (though not obvious, so much about the humility preaching from church yesterday, haha!). My trip to Australia has somehow affected my view of the future. When before I don't think of leaving my beloved country, but as I look at my age . . . oh my golly, what will happen to me? I'm not yet worrying or panicking, but that time gave me a chance to reflect and to start asking God to lead me where He wants me to be.

For a change, I enjoy watching TV with my Tatay. He likes basketball and boxing and news and all those boring TV programs, hahaha. But yes, I started to like commenting with the things we watch together. I miss my Nanay too, I used to watch telenobela with her. But for now, I'll savor my bonding time with Tatay.

For a change, I started learning from the past - lovelife speaking. Ha? Did I have a lovelife? Not from past relationships though, but learning from the old ways of things when it comes to love department. I'm not a guru on this topic, but yes I was at times got trapped and fell. It is just a cycle, especially when I let God stay at the side. Now I'm learning to trust Him and listen more to Him.

For a change, I hope to become more patient and loving towards my family. I pray to share Jesus to others. I want to involve in caring for the less fortunate. I just feel like I have to exercise my faith and salvation.

There are a lot more to change and I hope to change for the better...

Fully loaded

Current Mood: soooooo tired

An unplanned trip happened last Friday. God gave us the chance to see Sydney!

We were supposed to go to Queensland but the fare is quite expensive so my sister looked for the Sydney trip. We contacted Tita Laura and Joanne, fortunately all was set before our flight.

That four-day trip was really fun. We visited all the popular sites: opera house, Harbor bridge, Darling Harbor, Queen Victoria bldg, Sydney Olympic Park (where Hillsong conference is held), cruise along the city shore, and many more. Joanne is a good tour guide, and libre nya lahat! Yaman di ba? Hehehe.

One of the highlights for me is the "chatterbox" (this is Uncle Bill's term when we have long chats). Joanne and I did a lot of talkings, daldal pala namin. Hahaha. In the train, while walking, when we were shopping, while eating (oopppss, don't talk when your mouth is full!), when we watch tv - or should I say, we talk when we are awake. Hehe.

Pero grabe, ang haba ng lakarin. Walang sinabi ang pag-ikot ng ilang beses sa megamall sa paghahanap ng Sbarro, or ang pagsha-shopping sa buong Divisoria. Nabanat ng husto ang mga binti ko! Keliliit pa naman (haha!). Bilib ako kay Joanne, ibang klase ang batang ito. Di marunong mapagod. Well, di ko alam if after we went back eh plakda na sya. Salamat ulit sis ha, sana maulit muli. Hahaha.

It is really getting hot in here. Today 32C ang temperature. Yung ilang weeks that I was so balot na balot, in just a matter of days, sunog agad! Ibang klase ang init dito. Parang bigla kong na-miss ang lamig. Hehe.

The whole day today, my Tita toured me around Melbourne city. Ang saya kasi nag-tram lang kami. Pero as usual, naglakad na naman kami ng mega haba. But after that, before we went home, she brought me to a newly opened shopping mall near her place. Nabuhay na naman ang spirit ko especially when I saw the big SALE marks. Hahaha. Kaya lang di pa ako sanay sa Aussie dollar kaya konti lang nabili ko. Paano ba naman, I always convert the price to peso, ang mahal pa naman when coverted. Kaya sabi ko kay Tita uwi na kami. Hehehe.

And since we never had a good long rest yet, I took mefenamic acid. Grabe sakit ng katawan ko kaya now I feel sooooo tired...

Update from Down Under

It seems like we’ve been here for quite a long time now though its nearly two weeks lang since our arrival. Maybe it’s because I don’t get bored yet due to our busy schedule. (yeah, puro kami lakwatsa. Hahaha)

I know this vacation will gonna be great because this is God’s gift.

While we were still in the plane, just before we landed, guess what? We were welcomed lang naman by the sunrise. It was awesome! I can’t get the right words to describe it here, just imagine the wonderful colors of the sky at the dawn and paste a real red sun on it! Too bad I kept my camera in my other bag so I didn’t get a photo of it.

The main reason of our coming here is the wedding of my sister. All the hardwork and stresses were all paid off. The weather during the wedding was perfect! It was warm and windy. Sun shiny clear sky made the photos very good. Thanks to all the people I bugged to pray for the weather. J Was able to meet some colleagues of my sister, even the general manager was there! Plus I met a lot of Pinoys, maybe this is one of the reasons why I still don’t feel homesick too.

But I still feel “lutang” and I asked God to make His presence more tangible (well, I don’t know if it is the right word for that, haha). So on our 2nd Sunday here, the worship service was great, especially the message. I know God is answering my prayers. Without planning for it, the rest of that day was spent driving around the city of Melbourne with some good Christian friends. We had tasty authentic Vietnamese cuisine for lunch, more photo shootings on the road, and a nice warm chat over cups of frappe! (shouldn’t it be cool?? Nah, the weather then was warm too. J) Just before we parted ways and go to each of our homes, God sent a sunset scenery along the sea. It’s like Him waving goodbye and gladly saying we had a good day. Well for me, its not yet the end. During that night, I cried like I never did for more than 4 years. My eyes become a wellspring of tears that made it so bad the next morning. I felt the denying and dying to self, putting down my pride and humbly gave forgiveness, fear of my future, yet inspite of it all, I felt so close to my Lord. I really thank Him for the experience.

I met some single men: a youth pastor, a Malaysian Christian, a tall good looking businessman. (dgroup ng kagandahan, wag ma-praning, tapusin basahin ang blog before making any conclusion, hehe.) But I think I’m not that interested yet on that part. I am enjoying the sceneries more than choosing any prospects (do I sound too proud about it??? I hope not.)

We’ve been to some homes of Pinoy friends. Nakakatuwa meeting them and eating Pinoy dishes. My brother in law even treated me to a Japanese resto when he learned that I love sashimi. Yesterday we were travelling the whole day, going to beautiful spots of Port Campbell, Lorne and Alona bay. It was a good day too. I cooked the pasta we baon. In fairness, naubos sya. Yun lang kasi dala naming food. Hahaha!

The day we came here was very cold. They say it should be spring but it feels like winter. So when people ask me if I like it here, I always tell them yes except for the weather. Hahaha.

Its becoming warmer now and I don’t need to wear long sleeves when I sleep. I also enjoy it in the shower room, no more cold breeze to freeze me. Haha!

The photo posted here is a vineyard next to the church where my sister had her wedding. Isn't it awesome?

I’m sure God has a lot more in-store for me, for us, here. It’s just the second week…

Oh, I just got an SMS from my Ate from home the other day, Jumong started walking! I missed his first steps…

Life as it should be

I should . . .

I must . . .

I could have . . .

Why is it so easy to say one thing but do the other?

Why is it that man needs to wear two or more masks, depending on where he is or who is he with, and not be in his true self?

So many life's lessons but so few application.

So many teachings but less transformation.

Why is it so easy to forget the good things but so difficult to let go of the bad?

Why is it that we enjoy dwelling on the hurts, pains and worries and spend little time on the positive side of life?

Why do we always choose to satisfy the desires of the flesh and later regret our choices?

Why can't we just obey and enjoy the rewards of it?

The list can go on and on with the "why's" and "how come's".

But as for me, I will choose to live my life as it should be. It is hard and I will never perfect it here. I will commit mistakes, disappoint some people, and continue with my inadequacies and inefficiencies. But I stand firm and live my beautiful life according to the way of the Master. I know I can for God's grace is sufficient for me to make it through.

She is she

We've known each other since 1992, wayback in college. At one subject or another, we were seatmates. But we were not that close close. We both are part of this Tropang Tulog and Benigno-Carangan Clan. These are not sorority nor academic org, these are barkadas who have the same wavelength with the same topak.

After college, all of us were so excited to be employed and start our own career. I was hired in Bulacan, and the others in Manila, Laguna, and even in Bicol (!) And SHE then got her first job in a chocolate factory in Cainta. After sometime, she moved to Bataan. I stayed in Bulacan. I don't really know how it started but somehow we kept the addresses of each other and send/receive snail mails! We talked about everything, from our funny-weird-kaasar-serious moments at the office to anything that we find it interesting. Then she was hired in Singapore and I was still in Bulacan. Oh I thought the letter send/receive will be stopped, but to our surprise, it was even intensified. She would send me letters with postcards of countries and places she's assigned to. Until, we found a better and faster means of communication - email! Her boyfriend termed our mails as blog emails because almost everyday we send very long nobelas to each other, as if we never talked the other day. So imagine how long our emails when we have long weekends or holidays. And then there's even more real-time talk, SMS (which we don't usually use, expensive eh!) and YM! Communicating has been part of our system. We miss each other when one of us will not be connected to the net. And after all those years, we now are super close close.

We both love to write (especially long letters), we both love shopping (sale!!!), we both love eating (though not so obvious), we both love to laugh (THE!), we both love to just be with our laptop and chat. Countless emails and letters we have exchanged yet there are still more things to talk about.

And now she's on a business trip. I-net connection in her place is so slow but still she managed to send me one blog email. I do miss her too, since we are so hooked with FashMatch I created an outfit for her. And I named it as "bcoz i miss my bes."

Yes, she is my bestfriend.

Balik ka na Singapore bes, umalis ka na dyan! Hahaha

Bits en Pieces

Is this blog still in existence??? Haha, it's been more than one month now since my latest post. And just like my last entry, so many events and happenings have passed. So many times I attempted to write something, but time and chances will just come and go.

And now, I am wordless. Haha!

My current fascination (or addiction) is FashMatch! My bestfriend "influenced" me on trying it and now I am so hooked. And I always blame her for this new addiction. The funny thing is, she admits. Hahaha. Anyway FM, as me and my bes simply call it, is very relaxing and enjoyable. It's one of those girl thing (but there are also men who are into it). Just recently I realized (through the comment of one of the matchers) that the outfit we make are reflections of who we are. Eventhough I try to create a match for a specific purpose or person, my personality will still be added into it. And that makes me say that in everything we do, we leave a footprint in it. And in this life, what mark are you making? Sounds serious, but it's true.

Last week we had a women's encounter in Tagaytay. The place was so nice and the architecture and theme is Thai inspired. It's actually a combination of Pinoy and Thai. I love their coffee and the fresh salad too. But more than the pleasure of the flesh, the retreat is an eye-opener. The theme is about lies women believe and the Truth that sets them free. I hope my loved ones can attend the repeat of this retreat.

Looking forward for the coming months. Me and my nanay are visiting my sister in Australia. My first time, yey!

Breaktime

Tagal na pala since my last post. Been indulged with tons and tons of work . . . when it rains, dala ka payong! Hahaha.

I really wanted to write sooner but blame it to my workload, I can't make a time for it. Obviously now, I finally making another entry. Work is still full, but for now I need a short break and writing is a sort of relaxation... well, as for me.

What happened in the last weeks other than the very busy life at the office? Hmmm, for one I am happy (and joyful maybe) with what is going on in our department. Things and people are finally starting to move on. Problems and challenges will always be present, but things are getting better now. Praise God!

I had weird dreams for four consecutive nights, cannot tell them here though. It was so funny and at the same time so weird. I dreamt of people whom I haven't seen for a long time and of some who I regularly talk to. Basta, kakaiba. Nakakainis na nakakatuwa. Hahaha, gulo ko! Sometimes I wanted to meet a dream interpreter (somebody like Joseph or Daniel of the bible), those who can explain about my dreams. Meron pa kayang ganun ngayon, authentic and true???

Masaya ako lately, I still cannot figure out why, pero I feel so light talaga. I confided with my friends about me being complacent or just letting things make their way. I really can't explain it but I have this peaceful reactions to not so good circumstances and situations. I am not saying that I already have perfected how to handle tough times, its just I feel so contented and secured no matter what. I know, it's all about God . . . His grace, His love, His Spirit . . . This "peace" may pass, maybe sooner or later, but what matters most is the present. And I'm glad I am experiencing this solemn quietness of spirit.

Got to get back to work. "Fans" are waiting for me. Haha!

Living Alone

I heard them talking about why were there so many policemen in our neighbor's house? It's only about 7am on that Sunday morning. As they (my mom, sister, niece and other friends) load in the car, they were so curious of what was happening at that house. I could only care less because I was the one driving! (grrr... i hate it when I have to drive on Sundays for very, very petty reasons!) I decided to give a simple look to see how many people are there. But maybe, I was so pre-occupied that morning (which by the way, didn't know what's on my mind that time) that I haven't even glanced on that house.

So there we are at church, listening to the sermon of Doc Alex (in fairness, carry nya ang mga jokes nya ha) and there I was, shivering from the coldness of the aircon and too focused (okay, this may not be the exact word but its the closest, haha!) on the message that I did not even bother to think about that neighbor.

As we were on our way back home, my "passengers" were again talking about that incident. Until my sister said something like, "Si Kuya --- pala yun, kawawa naman..." That was the first time it got my little attention. And I asked, "Who? Who's Kuya ---?". I can see my sister's irritation and frustration on my first and initial reaction. And finally, it all dawned on me. He is our neighbor, actually his house is just a few meters away from ours. I saw him in a very few occasions, and didn't even bother if he knew me or not. He and his spouse were childless, they got married at a pretty old age. His wife passed away one year ago and he lived in his house all by himself. I never really took notice of him until that day happened. He was found lifeless in his home and as the experts said, it maybe more than 24hours that he was dead. It may sound morbid and horrifying to tell the details here, so just to make it short the alleged reason of his death was bangungot.

That night, as I was having dinner with my dad, he's telling me again of the details and how he was found and how he looks like in the coffin. It maybe disgusting but I really felt that I want to stop eating and tell my Tatay to stop telling me those things. But then more than that, I felt compassion towards him, our neighbor. It gives assurance though that he is in heaven now, I hope, for I assumed that he knew the right Way. I felt sad that he died alone, that there was no one he could have told what he was feeling before his death, that he was even a stranger in our place (his hometown is in Manila).

As I lay myself down to bed last night, thoughts of that early morning incident kept on waking up my mind. What if I'll have the same fate? What if I never get married? What if I don't have someone with me when my time comes? . . . These may be crazy questions, but I can't help thinking about my own life . . .

And as always, my loving and caring and compassionate and understanding and faithful heavenly Dad reminded me of His message from that morning sermon, "You are not alone, never alone!".

I had a sweet and peaceful sleep...

I heard Him again...

I've read this passsage for the nth time. I've heard it preached for so many Sundays and in so many bible studies and even taught in our small group.

And then last Sunday, I heard it again. The "Lord is my Shepherd" hit my core for the nth time . . .

Was it because we have typhoon signal # 3?
Was it because there was no electricity during the worship service?
Was it because the church's senior pastor delivered the message?
Was it because the only light in that church came from 5 small candles?
Was it because the downpour of rain and intensity of wind took hold of my surrounding?
Was it because I have so much concerns inside my head?
Was it because after about three weeks, I was back in church again?
Was it because I needed to hear my Shepherd in His louder voice?
Was it because I needed rest from the tiredness of life?
Was it because . . .

"Don't force your will to be God's will."
"Do not trade biblical principles for God's blessings."
"Sometimes, the good Shepherd breaks the leg of His sheep. He will carry him until the leg heals. And the sheep will be closer to the Shepherd."

These were the words that took my being again.
It happened and now I trully understand.

The Lord is my Shepherd . . . surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life.

One-week Work

It has been one long, tiring week for me. Arrived in Bangkok on Sunday and went straight to Saraburi. Oh yes, my colleagues brought me to see the relics of a temple in Ayutthaya.

Monday was a full-day training. I couldn't believe we will end at past 6pm! But I enjoyed their questions and clarifications. I think I understand how the teachers feel when they have confirmations of their students' learnings. After three years, some things are now clear to them. Dinner: authentic Thai cuisine

Tuesday, a whole-day audit. Hmmm, it was nice seeing the improvements after two years. Dinner: Go Japanese! (syempre pa, nakadami ako ng salmon!!!)

Wednesday, continuation of audit and hands-on training. I felt good this day, though sakit sa ulo ang marami at paulit-ulit na tanong. Hehe. Dinner: Western dishes

Thursday, went to Nakhorn Pathom (this place is spelled with so many versions and I believe any is acceptable). Tried upgrading the software but to no avail. More trainings and explanations (and translations!!!). Dinner: Authentic Thai with tamarind juice at the side! (can't believe they have that here)

Friday, audit again and more chats with the staff. More questions, more talks, more learnings. Oh, that room is making my head ache so hard! It was so funny for the lunch, lost our way to the resto, was late for the meal, and after all the U-turns and left turns and right turns (with rotonda ha!), we finally saw the resto. And guess what we're looking for such long time? Lechon Kawali!!! Sana sa Pinas ko na lang sila dinala, Gerry's grill is the best! Dinner: Italian. (bumawi! hehe)

Saturday - today and it's more than 30minutes that I'm here at the hotel lobby waiting for them. I missed 3 calls and there were no number! Grrrr, it maybe them. I think I will be able to post this blog before they arrive. It's the culmination day of the one week stay.Whew, it's really been a long week. It feels good anyway to share and learn from from others. Dinner: i dont know yet. hehe

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday

.... And I will be finally home sweet home. Thank God!

Photos, Pics and Poses

left to right then downwards: on our way to church (Vero, Pam, me), with the bride - Gem, at the church, i luv my curls!!!, with the couple, new love team? (Vero en Flip), at the reception, our masks!, wacky pose.

left to right then down: tamed shot (me, bes, Vero, "ninang" Cecile, "ninong" Kiko, another pose with Edwin and Gem, posing at Greenbelt, we're waiting for a seat at Italiannis, balloons!!!, bes en me, "masked" photos, lakad-lakad...

Hope we could do this again . . . Sino kaya kasunod???

Another Friend's Wedding

It was wonderful! It's a long 15 years of friendship. And it's good to be with old friends again.

Gemma's wedding is one of the most memorable get together of the Tropa, though some members were not able to come. First, I am so happy for Gem marrying Edwin, who seems like a responsible, loving and kalog man. We weren't able to know him personally before their wedding for he works overseas. The wedding was simple (pero dami pakulo), organized, and enjoyable. I like the part where they held ballloons and released them to the sky. Sobrang saya, everyone is smiling and very happy for the couple.

Second, it was one of those times that the ECE group was almost complete. (Si Rej kasi di nakahabol, abay pa naman. Hehehe) Ang saya makipag-kodakan with them. Too bad, I haven't transfered the photos from my cam yet (tamad, hahaha). It was also fun throwing jokes at each other and talking nonstop about everything. Madami pa rin ang single! Hahaha.

Third, we hang out at Greenbelt after the reception. Pam treated us to Italiannis (sosi Bes ko!). Inspite of the rain and the strong wind that day, nothing can stop me from drinking my favorite fruit shake. Haha! This time I tried strawberry, grapes and pineapple. It's the best! (lahat yata ng combi the best for me eh, hehe). Elaine was so surprised when she saw me finished that huge glass of shake. (Mare, see me when I eat sushi. Hahaha)

Fourth, we saw Kuya's bahay! We were running out of time when we left the hotel so we were not able to pose at the PBB house. Then we planned of going back there after the reception to take photos in our pang-abay costumes. We even thought of wearing our masks to look like we are yet another group of house players. Hahaha! Jologs! But then again, we were frustrated because the road was closed for that night was an eviction night so may live program sa bahay ni Kuya. Nevertheless, happy na kami to see the PBB house. Hehehe, babaw!

The wedding was memorable because I liked my hairstyle! Vain me! It was curly at the ends, I like it so much. I even asked Bes to take photos of my hair before I slip on in my dress. I'll post the photos here . . . I don't know when. Hahaha.

And the most memorable is that we were like princesses in our gowns and tiaras. The giveaway is a glass jewelry box with a note on the top that says "Princess". Was it a coincidence? . . . I don't think so.

I am a beloved princess, my Father says so.

Just when I thought it was over…

A special day happened last April 10, it was my birthday. Family and friends remembered to greet and sent their special wishes and prayers for me. I wrote all the messages in my journal, first time to do that by the way. I just thought that it is nice to look back at that day in the future. Something I was not able to record, Clarisse’s messages since the first day of April until the 10th. Clarisse don’t worry, the sweet memories are recorded forever in my heart.

I really did not feel the day was so spectacular. Well for one, an extraordinary happened. Two of my colleagues whom I don’t have that deep relationship with greeted me – the first time they did it for the past many years we’ve been together in the company. It was memorable because one of those colleagues, I never spoke with for years. It was sort of a cold war between us. But that was just history now which we never talked about. One day, we just spoke to each other and accepted and adjusted and did what must be done a long time ago. I guess it’s about maturity. And I never expected that that day will come in such a way, I prayed about it for years. And I’m just thankful that God made His way for it to happen.

I understand if some people forgot to greet me. I never expected for gifts or any thing special. I did enjoy my day. I spent the morning with my Tatay (he accompanied me to LTO) and the afternoon was spent at home, with my family – the people I chose to share my special day with.

The next couple of days, there were still birthday messages coming in. I began to realize that God extended my birthday to few more days. Hahaha…

And there are people who were not contented to just greet me. It was really a surprise. It happened last April 13, three days after my birthday. Cha, Clarisse, Jenna and Mae prepared something special. This I was really touched. Even now when I think about it, there is something I feel in my heart that I cannot explain. I do not deserve to receive such gifts. These four ladies worked hard and gave me what they know will make me happy. It was so thoughtful of them. But more than the tangible gifts, I am most grateful for how they are living their lives. These women are trying their best to be like Jesus. When I look at them, I see God’s mighty hand in action. At their young age, they have decided to use their time and energy for things with eternal value. They strive to have a deeper relationship with their Lord and Savior.

Cha, Clarisse, Jenna and Mae: Thank you for the gift of friendship. Thank you for the trust. Thank you for your heavenly commitment. Thank you for being an inspiration and encouragement to me. Thank you for making this year’s April 10 a special one. Thank you for being beautiful in the sight of God. Let us all faithfully finish the race…

And just when I thought my birthday was over, God is making each day a special day for me. Love You, Dad!

Senti...

Di ito masyadong madrama, sana. Naisipan ko lang magsulat tungkol sa mga simpleng bagay na di akalaing nakakapagpa-senti...

Senti ... short for sentiments... or sa pang araw-araw na Tagalog, term sa mga feeling mag-emote.

Ang aming tinitirhan ngayon ay namana pa namin sa Ama ng aking Tatay. Di ko na alam kung gaano na ito katagal pero as far as I know, more than 75 years na itong nakatayo dahil almost 76 years old na si Tatay and bago pa sya ipinanganak ng kanyang Ina, nakatayo na ang bahay na ito. Mahigit sa sampung taon na rin ang nakakalilipas nang maipaayos, or ma-renovate, ang bahay na ito. Ngunit kahit sa haba na nang nagdaang mga taon, nami-miss ko pa rin yung lumang hitsura ng aming bahay. Maliwanag pa rin sa aking isipan ang bawat sulok (at alikabok, isama pa ang mga lumang gamit at kalat) nito. Paminsan-minsan ay naiisip ko pa rin ang mga masasaya (at malulungkot) na alaala sa aming lumang bahay. . . ang paglalaro ng taguan, ang panonood ng tv (take note, black and white), ang pagsasarado ng kahoy na bintana kapag malakas ang ulan na nilalagyan ng panangkal na bato sa gilid, ang pagpanhik-panaog sa kahoy na hagdanan, ang pag-igib ng tubig mula sa kusina papuntang banyo (nasa 1st floor ang deep well, nasa 2nd floor naman ang toilet) pero madalas ang mga kapatid kong lalaki ang nag-iigib dahil sadya akong mahina sa mga pisikal na gawain. Nakaka-miss...Naisip ko nga, kaya pala yung ibang tao kahit itaya pa nila ang buhay nila ay hindi aalis sa bahay ng kanilang nakalakhan. Yan ang nagagawa ng sentimental value.

Elementary at college. Para sa akin ito ang pinaka masayang panahon ng pag-aaral sa school. Contrary to popular belief, least like ko ang high school. (Kung meron man sa mga kaklase ko sa high school na makabasa nito, no offense meant classmates.) Sa elementarya kasi ay puro laro lang ang naaalala ko. Pagdating ng uwian ay naglalakad kami sabay-sabay ng aking mga kaklase at kaibigan. Kahit nga recess lang or lunch break, nakakapaglaro pa rin kami. Pag maramihan ang kalaro, moro-moro ang drama. Pag puro girls naman, sa loob lang ng room. Bahay-bahayan o kaya'y paper doll making o kaya'y pagalingan sa pag-drawing. Naalala ko pa nun, ang award sa pinakamagaling mag-drawing ay isang piraso ng maliit, pero cute, na stationery na hindi ko alam kung nasulatan ko man lang ba yun o tinapon nang Nanay ko sa katagalan sa taguan. Naglalaro din kami ng pikyaw or sha-tong. Isa sa mga paborito ko ay ang football. Pero syempre, pinaka-ayaw ko yung nasasalo ng taya ang bola once na sinipa ko ito... Sa college naman, napaka-independent ng buhay. Walang adviser, walang set of officers sa classroom. Bahala ka gumawa ng schedule mo basta dapat makuha mo ang lahat ng subjects for that semester. Kahit di ka mag-notes basta may classmate kang masipag magsulat (at dapat kaibiganin mo sya), ok na kasi pwede mo ipa-xerox ang notebook nya. Nakaka-miss ang pagtambay sa stairs ng North building o kaya sa oval seat sa tabi ng xerox machine sa first floor. Nakaka-miss ang paggawa ng reports using engineering lettering- the more pages the better, irregardless of the contents. Sakit lang sa kamay at magastos sa ink. Pero syempre ang pinaka nakaka-miss ay yung mga naging kaibigan, guro, at crushes. Mapalad ako sapagka't sa college madami akong naging tunay na kaibigan na kahit pa mahigit isang dekada na ang nakalilipas ay nagkikita-kita pa rin kami. At syempre sa bawat get-together, hindi maaaring di mapag-usapan ang tungkol sa school.

Isa pang nakaka-miss ay ang ka-simplehan ng buhay nung ako'y batang paslit pa. Wala pang cellphone nun, walang internet, walang PSP, walang MP3, walang masyadong sasakyan sa barrio namin, walang mga high-tech na laruan. Pero masaya kami, lalo na sa umaga at sa hapon kasi maglalaro kami ng aking mga kapatid at kaibigan. Bago pa nauso ang paintball, nakikipaglaro na ako ng barilan kahit ang baril ay pinutol lang na sanga ng ipil o kaya'y sanga ng bayabas basta korteng baril. Masaya rin magtaguan, at masarap umakyat ng puno at doon magtago. Taguang pong, taguang tsinelas, langit lupa, bahay-bahayan, lutu-lutuan, tinda-tindahanan, patintero, yagit na drama, manika-manikaan, at habulan. Yan ay ilan lamang sa mga nilaro at inenjoy ko noon. Masaya ring sumama sa Nanay sa araw ng palengke kasi madaming pwede ipabili at tulad ng karamihan ay madalas din akong umiyak sa gitna ng maraming tao dahil ayaw ako ibili ng Nanay ko ng isang bagay na nagustuhan ko dahil mahal ang presyo. At higit sa lahat, tahimik at payapa ang buhay noon. Sa konting pagkain at sapat na pera, basta buo ang pamilya, masaya. Minsan nga kahit kapos, basta mabait ang kapitbahay, tuloy ang buhay.

Simpleng bagay, simpleng alaala. Pero nakaka-miss talaga . . .

Silence

As we are about to end our short trip in Bohol, I decided to have my quiet time in front of the white-sand beach. At six o'clock in the morning, the sun is slowly dispersing its light on all the corners of the earth, the crescent moon quietly watching the children, parents and adults playing in the waters, and the air carrying the soft sound of combined music from the lushes water and the song from radio. My eyes were so fascinated with the scene that as I talk to God I can't take my stare off the happy and playful people, the quiet blue water, the soft-white sand on the shore, and the birds flying carelessly in the sky. Some people were walking along the seashore while telling stories to each other, some doing their stretching and some, like me, seated quietly on the dry part of the shore.

God knew what my heart was at that time. I kept on thinking about that couple's retreat, about my brothers and sisters deciding to attend to something else that Sunday rather than completing the seminar, about my parents who were left at home to take care of the kids, about my classmate whom I haven't shared the gospel with, about my siblings who do not have a personal relationship yet with Jesus, about my love life, about my dgroup, about so many things. Then I started praising God for all the beautiful things He laid before me on that quiet place. And as I count them, the music of Celine Dion's Because You Loved Me filled the air as if it was my voice thanking my heavenly Dad of all the things He gave me. For all those stands You stood for me . . . For all the truths that You made see . . . For all all the joy You brought to my life . . . For all the wrongs that You made right. . . You're the One who held me up and never let me fall . . . Because You loved me . . .

He brought me to John 2:1, there was a wedding! A grand celebration of two hearts uniting to each other. Again, I remembered my siblings and I asked God that may they have a reunion with Him that day. I was so engrossed with how they will experience God. And as I was thinking about them, God's voice suddenly filled the air . . ." I love you more than you'll ever know, I love you more than you'll ever see. More than My heart could ever show, I love you more than you'll ever know. . . " Tears started to fall on my cheeks. I don't care if people around me noticed it, but it was so moving when I heard those lines. "Take my hand, we'll walk a while, we'll talk a while . . ." As I think of that wedding for my married siblings, Jesus was leading me to my relationship with Him. As I pour out my thoughts and my heart in praying for them, my Daddy held my heart and walked with me. That is what matters most to Him . . . my faith, that He knows exactly what He will do with family, that His plan for my friends are for their good, that He is faithful to His promises for the dgroup, that He will send the best man for me, that if only I trust Him fully all things will fall into places. To ease my troubled heart, my heavenly Dad assured me that He loves me more than I'll ever know, more than I'll ever see. As someone will see me at that moment, he may think that I was very silent . . . but that silence is louder more than the sound of everything else around me.

Take My hand. We'll walk awhile, we'll talk awhile.

Feel My love, always there beside you.

Be the one, I know you'll tell Me everything

You are the one I cherish more than anything

I love you more than you'll ever know

I love you more than you'll ever see

More than My heart could ever show

I love you more than you'll ever know

Think of Me. And know that I'll believe in you.

There'll always be

This precious time together

With every tear

A love so strong, no words could ever say

A love to last forever

I love you more than you'll ever know

I love you more than you'll ever see

More than My heart could ever show

I love you more than you'll ever know

Take My hand. We'll walk awhile, we'll talk awhile.

Feel My love always there beside you

Be the one, I know you'll tell me everything

You are the one I cherish more than anything

I love you more than you'll ever know

I love you more than you'll ever see

More than My heart could ever show

I love you more than you'll ever know

More Than Just Stars

Early morning of Saturday . . . February 2, 2008 . . . while it was still dark, I together with my friend Minette, were driving on the road to attend a seminar entitled, Just Give Me Jesus. It was half our way when I noticed two bright beautiful stars staring at us as if trying to get our attention from the rest of the world. They are noticeably different from among the stars in the sky that day. Beside them was a crescent moon with a little star resting on top of it . . . It was such a beautiful sight . . . driving silently, enjoying the sky (I was driving so I just peeked once in a while), savoring the peace on the road, comforted by the warmth of my car (the AC was off, it was cold that day), excited for that seminar, chatting with Minette while listening to soft music.

Anne Graham Lotz delivered God's message incredibly good. She caught my attention when she presented the gospel in a new way (at least for me). I was reminded of how much Jesus loved me that eventhough He has the power to let go that brutal suffering, to just skip that scourging at the pillar, to silent those Pharisees and Sanhedrins, to strike King Herod at that moment when he questioned Him, to just let go of His breath and not feel the pain of those huge, big nails, to ask His heavenly Father to save Him . . . He intentionally and voluntarily went thru all of those pains, hurts, tears so that I can be saved and I can be righteous in the eyes of God. The music of Fernando Ortega, composer and singer of Just Give me Jesus song, filled the coliseum while the people (mostly women) sing along with the sound of his piano. I was overwhelmed at that day while we sing praises to God. I can see "hope" everywhere I put my eyes on. I see "rainbows" filled that arena. Rainbows (sign of hope) because I can only see the colors of shirts but cannot see the faces of the people. It's as if I was inside that "rainbow".

Before finally going home, two of my friends joined me for coffee. Our conversation was so intimate. I feel so close to these ladies as we share what's in our hearts, that we can be so open and true with each other, never mind being naked or vulnerable, and having no fear of being judged.

I almost forgot about those stars we saw that morning until I got a message later that night from Minette saying that those were not just stars. One is named Venus (the brighter star) and other is Jupiter!

I searched the net about this amazing sight and I'd like to quote Francis Redy's statement on these two stars that they "resemble a pair of celestial headlights - an appropriate comparison for an event that graces the morning commute."

I knew, God gave me Jesus from the start 'till the end of that day. . . more than just stars.

Photo was taken from antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod

Unforgettables

Ultimate crush: Codename - B.S. I was in grade one, he was in grade 4. He was my bro's classmate, very neat and goodlooking (how does a 6-year old know what goodlooking means??). He was my ultimate crush until grade 3. But when I was in grade 4, I haven't seen him much. He transferred to another school for secondary level. :(
Update: he is still single! c",)

Favorite game: Taguan (hide and seek). When nothing to do at home, my siblings and I play taguan. Since I am the youngest and the smallest, I can hide anywhere. Miss playing with my ate's and kuya's.

The secret of Santa was revealed: It was early morning of Christmas 1986 when I heard my Ate telling my Nanay to put that red wallet in my stocking hung in our Christmas tree. I saw that wallet a few days ago in my Ate's bag but never thought it would be "Santa's" gift for me. I was devastated when the "secret" was revealed.

Winning a contest in Journalism: I was in the category of Copyreading and Headline Writing - English. Our team was qualified up to the national level. The event would take place in Naga City but our "beloved" school did not allow us to join. We were only two (both women) from our group who qualified to the national competition. I can't remember the exact reason why the school didn't allow us, but what remains in my mind is that our first chance to visit Bicol was cancelled.

1990 Earthquake: We were having our Filipino subject at the second floor of old high school building when the earthquake happened. I was seated in between a Christian and a Jehovah's witness classmates. The unforgettable about it was when the three of us held hands and prayed together. And the earthquake stopped, nobody was hurt in that room and even from our immediate families at home. The power of prayer.

Being sure of my salvation: 1990 in our chapel, Friday night. I was so sure I will go to heaven after believing and receiving Jesus in my heart.

Fire, almost!: College days, during one of our Physical Chemistry lab experiments. We were tasked to close a glass tubing by heating the other end. One of my classmates (bes, remember?) threw her heated glass to the sink. Without us knowing, the sink contains organic solvents! Oxygen, flammable material and heat are all present. What can you expect? Fire!!! Thank God, it was only small and was easily contained. I met our teacher (Mr. Aguilar), after about 5 years, in a convention and said he won't forget that time when we almost fired up his class. Hahaha

First tears of joy: Fourth year high school, when I won in the district level of Journalism contest. When my teacher (forgot her name though, but can still remember her face) told us that I was 3rd (not first) in our category, my tears just flowed down from my eyes. I was so embarrassed when people looked at me. But it was so good to cry out of joy.

This blog will definitely have more parts . . .

Who Am I?

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.

Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wondering heart.

Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours. I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again

Who am I?
That the voice that calm the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am.
But because what of you’ve done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Fish

Have you ever wished you were a fish? Have you ever stared and entertained how a fish swims and make its way to the vast playground of water?

When I was a child, I often wonder how do fish swim so smooth and so cool and so at peace in water. I thought I would outgrown that fascination. But I was wrong, even now that I am an adult I would still stop and watch how fish makes it way up and down in water. They are so graceful and would surprise you when they just jump out of nowhere (and how can they do that?? They don't even have feet!). I love it most when I watch dolphin shows, when they do their antics and stunts and get so envy with those trainors who would even stand at the back of these dolphins and off they go as if they were surfing. I also like it when I see documentaries in television showing the life and survival of fishes. And these creatures come in different colors, different sizes, different shapes, different looks and with different styles of strokes!!! My favorite "fishy" movies are Nemo and Shark's tale. They are so cute to watch under water (even if they were just cartoons, hehe). Free Willy is also nice but it is so dramatic for me. And would you believe, I like that episode of Star Wars where there were underwater scenes? Where the Jedis hide temporarily and made agreements with this colony (okay, okay I forgot what's the name of that clan).

I also love fishing, but just the thrill of fishes eating my baits. And I get frustrated when they eat the bait but I won't be able to catch them. Haha!

Yeah, I swim but not am really a good swimmer. I can only float . . . huh!

Someday, I want to go scuba diving. Being under water and playing with these fascinating creatures. And see what its like in their kingdom . . .

Mornings

Do you love waking up in the morning? Well, not too early morning. And not too late as well. Just the time when your room is lighted by the sunlight, when you hear a choir of birds singing their morning greetings to you, when you feel you have rested well and had a good sleep (and had a very beautiful dream too), when you feel like it'll gonna be a different day to savor and live your life.

What is the first thing you do after you have fully opened your eyes and decided to start the day? . . . If you have to go to office, probably you will directly go to the bathroom and wash your sleepiness away with a cold morning shower. Or you will go to the dining table, good for you if mom has prepared a sumptous breakfast. Or get your mobile phone and excitedly see if your crush (or special someone) remembered to send you a message. Or if you are a girl, you would stand in your closet and think for long (or even longer) hours which dress to wear.

Different people do different things in the morning. We all have our different routines. We all have our different activities, different habits.

For quite sometime now, I feel excited and loved and pampered in the morning. First thing, I wait to hear the sound of that group, the birds' choir surrounding my room. You see, I live in a very quiet and very simple little community in a province. You'll hear the crows of roosters, the barkings of dogs, the zooommm of tricycles, the voices of kids going to school, the sound of your tummy reminding you that you haven't fed her last night. Anyway, when I hear the chirping of the choir, I can't help but smile. (What a good act after opening my eyes!) And then, I will say my morning greetings to my Dad - I usually do this facing the window where the direction of sunrise is - and I will be greeted back by the warmth of His kisses filling the air with a bit of sunlight. Perfect! After that, we will have a little talk. I write down in my journal what His message is and will keep it in my heart for the whole day.

Then comes my other routines. Drinking one glass of water, taking a bath, spending a little (?) time in the closet and mirror, eat my breakfast, and then kiss my parents good-bye and off go to work. Oh by the way, if my car is dusty, I clean it first after I drink that glass of water.

The old order of things has passed away.

Life is a cycle... just for now.

One day, you are very high emotionally, spritually. And one day, you will find yourself at its low point for no apparent reason! I wonder why it has to be that way?

I must admit, I am at my low point lately. I have every reason to be excited and joyful yet my spirit is so proud that it cannot appreciate anything, so insensitive and so callous. Foolish heart!

Then God brought me to this verse: He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. (Revelation 21:4) Wow, what a promise! In the new heaven and earth, the old order of things will be gone. It means that I won't feel lonely, down or depressed anymore! Every second is full of joy and laughter and true worship. It will be so much fun that I don't have to think about me, I and myself.

While waiting for that time, I am still in this present order of things. One amazing thing though, my Father never gets tired of encouraging me everyday, whispering to me how much He loves me, and providing for my daily needs even to the point of giving me my wants. I am His beloved anyway . . . c",)

I, together with two of my closest friends in church (Clarisse and SR), were in a friend's wake last Saturday. We all know that that day will come but still the loss of a beloved really hurts. Tita Laura, now a widow, tried her best not to look lonely and sad but her eyes cannot hide it. Tito Boy's two years of battle with his lung cancer was used by God to spread His word to a great number of souls. It was such an amazing and awesome testimony everytime Tito Boy would come to the pulpit and shares what God is doing in his life. I will miss his presence in the testimony line, but one thing is for sure . . . the old order of things in his life is now gone. And he is finally home to his Father in heaven. Enjoy the reunion Tito Boy . . .