I’ve never been number one. I don’t know how it is to be the first. In our family, I am the youngest. When I graduated from elementary, I was second place. In high school, I ranked third. And from college, I was number four. In school contests, I’ve never experienced to be the top winner. Not that I am bitter with the academic achievements I got, but being number one is not for me. Or that’s what I thought.
When I enrolled in the church’s GLC program, I told myself that I will be serious with it. I promised to God that I will try my best to excel in this course. I said that in my career I give my all, why not do the same with what God has entrusted me to learn? And just like my other promises, I have broken what I said I will do. At the first semester of the course, I was excited and enthusiastic in the class, in making projects and assignments, in reviewing for the exams. But later on I become lazy. I even did a project for the sake of completing it. (And yes, I got a low score for it.)
As we were consolidating the grades of each student at the end of the school year, my hopes of being in the top become less and less as more and more grades are entered especially at that time when I saw the lowest score I got from that project I was talking about from the previous paragraph. In my mind, I was telling God I am sorry that I did not make up to my promise…again.
I was exhausted that week helping out with the consolidation of grades. I even had to take one-day leave from work so that we could complete and submit the report. I am not used to sleep very late but that night I needed to work until 2:00 in the morning! There is no other one that can finish the grades since it is only me who knows the program. And when the most awaited summary has been completed, I was surprised
with what I saw. My hands were trembling and my heart was beating fast, I couldn’t believe with what I am looking at. I got excited and at the same time I was also nervous thinking that maybe I did some mistakes in entering the scores. My name was on top of the list, meaning I got the highest average among the students! I stopped for a while and when I got my senses back I told God, “Ok Lord that is enough. It has lifted my spirit and even though it is late, I will still finish the consolidation of grades. Can You now please show me the correct top 20 names? By the way, thank You for the humor. Me as number one? You gotta be kidding me!” Thinking that I have to go to bed, I closed my computer and went to sleep.Anticipating corrections and revisions with the grades, I brought my personal laptop to office so that I can work on it during my free time. Our Dean called to tell me that the grades are needed before lunch that day! There were few revisions but my name remained on top! I was hoping for more corrections and that my name won’t be at number one. Until about 3:00 in the afternoon, the final list was released. And yes, I still ranked number one! It t
ook some time before I was able to grasp that fact.Suddenly, I felt the rushing of tears on my face. I was humbled by the love of God. All throughout the school year, I’ve never been completely faithful. There were times that I did not give my best. There were days that I attend class but my mind is not focused on the lesson. But here I am, given another grace, loved unconditionally and forgiven freely. I really thanked God for lavishing me with His love. Inspite of my unfaithfulness, He remains faithful.
On August 8, 2010, Sunday, we marched and received our certificate of completion. It was a fun and meaningful graduation. It was so good to graduate for the fourth time in my life. But this one is different. Finally, I was number one, God made me number one. My parents, together with my sister, friend and nephews were there to witness my graduation. Tatay and Nanay kissed and congratulated me after I gave the valedictory speech. My nephews even handed a bouquet of yellow flowers. I made a lot of mistakes, I hurt my parents from my recent rebellion, but their love never changes. I know God made them feel proud of me.
Thank You is not enough to say how grateful I am to You, my God. I am humbled. I feel secured. I was reassured that You will be with me to the very end of age. Once again, I have experienced how mighty and powerful You are!
