Letting You Go…

You were wearing a red shirt and maong pants when your dad introduced us to each other. I cannot remember the exact date, but it was in Hiyas Convention at the youth bs hall. You were covering your face with your right hand as if ashamed or embarrassed, but you were smiling. From then on, you become a regular face I see every week.

As time goes by, I learned more about you. So carefree, pasaway, maingay and most of all – sobrang masayahin. You may be annoying dahil sa kaingayan at kakulitan mo. But you continued to attend bs and dgroups. I remember you didn’t want to go to college. You didn’t want to study anymore. But after completing your college degree, you have another wish – you don’t want just an entry level in a company, you want to be there at once – at the top position. You shared that you don’t want to get married too, but later I found out that you even got a man before I have! Haha!

These words may not reach you now. But I want to say “thank you”. I learned to be more patient, to pray harder, to laugh more, to talk less and to listen more, to love and appreciate the people around me. Your transfer to Clang’s dgroup, I didn’t talk about it formally. It was hard for me, I just knew it’s time that I let you go. I’ve seen you’re maturing, being more responsible in your own ways. And I was glad that you accepted it, as I expected you would.

I’ve seen you cried once, and I regret that I was not that emphatic with you then. I didn’t understand how painful it was, but I know you’re hurting. We had the longest conversation (kahit thru text lang) that time. I wished I felt for you but that’s all I can do for you then, to be there and listen to what you’ll say.

Happy times, we have so many for laugh and fun are part of you. I won’t forget our time in Balay Indang, I was so glad when you said that you enjoyed the retreat. Your lips mentioned so many good things, it was a confirmation for me that you are really growing. But above all, I am most happy for I knew you have Jesus in your heart.

You were wearing a pink-stripped sort of jump suit (only fashionistas like you know what that dress is called, haha!) when you asked if you have kissed me already. I said, “di pa.” And then you kissed me and said, “aalis kasi ako. Bye.” It was sweet and sincere. We were in the new CCF worship hall, my first time to attend the service. And my last time to see you in your usual smiling face.

The first and the last encounter I have with you, they are treasured forever in my heart. I never thought letting you go could be this painful. Tears will stop from falling, but for now I just let them flow…

Peth, paalam… I’ll see you up there…